Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Live, Laugh, Love

Last week I went to the movie store looking for a TV show on DVD that I could get into watching. I wanted something I hadn't seen before - not Gilmore Girls or SATC even though I've totally watched those all out of order and there may be a few episodes here and there that I haven't seen.

Big Daddy & My Kid started watching "24" this season and now, during summer reruns, they're renting the first three seasons on DVD.

So I got "The L Word" because I've heard that it's character-driven and it sucks you in and that the subject matter is more universal than you might think. Big Daddy thinks I'm just watching one big porno movie but he doesn't get it. The show is really, really good. It's about women. In LA. Living their lives on their own terms. How can I not watch THAT?

Bette (Jennifer Beals) is the director of an art museum. She's been in a relationship with Tina for seven years. They're trying to have a baby together. Tina did conceive but then she lost the baby at 13 weeks so that was really sad.

Dana is a professional tennis player who's afraid to come out because she doesn't want to lose her lucrative Subaru endorsement deal. She seems insecure and very unsure of herself. Famous quote (when discussing past lesbian encounters): "I can't tell you who it was because she's famous now."

Alice is quirky and funny and bisexual. She's been dating a "male-identified lesbian" - a guy named Lisa. She has a crazy actress mother (Anne Archer). Alice is a journalist and keeps a huge chart of LA lesbian affairs on her wall. She claims she can connect any two names by six degrees of separation.

Jenny is young, and tiny and waifish and dark. She started out the series engaged to Tim (who lives next-door to Bette & Tina) but then she had an affair with the beautiful and exotic Marina, who owns The Planet where they all hang out. Now she's trying to figure out who she is and what she wants.

Kit (Pam Grier) is Bette's half-sister; they share a dad (Ossie Davis). She's straight, but battling demons of her own, including alcoholism and a son in medical school who appears to have been raised by his grandfather. She's a musician.

Shane is...well, Shane. Androgynous, promiscuous, confident, rebellious, fearless and tough, she's like no other character on TV. At first she made me a little uncomfortable but I am really starting to dig her. We don't know much about Shane's past except that she lived on the streets for a while turning tricks with a young male prostitute, only "she would only give hand jobs." Shane is the center of Alice's chart. She doesn't believe in relationships, although a gay male Hollywood exec with a thing for her ("He thinks I'm a guy.") has sent Shane - who's a hairdresser - a famous and powerful client (Rosanna Arquette) that she just may be falling for.

Now at the top of my wishlist: the soundtrack. Totally gotta have it.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

From now on, all my posts are going to be about really stupid things I do out of pure exhaustion.

Last night I decided to make bread. OK, it was from a mix, but I don't have a bread machine, so I kneaded that fucker for 15 minutes. What a workout. Then I let it rise for an hour, and punched it down. Formed it into a loaf, put it in a loaf pan and covered it with a towel to let it rise again until it doubled in size.

Then we went out for Marble Slab ice cream (yum!) and to Blockbuster. By the time we got home, I was so tired I went right to bed. Yep, the dough is STILL sitting on my kitchen counter more than 12 hours later. And it is HUGE too! I'm lucky it didn't break the loaf pan. Feh. All that work for nothing.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Top Overdressed Movie Quotes

Update: Scully and Mark did quick work of my movie lines. The answers have been added in below.

I was lucky enough to catch the last 15 quotes of the AFI 100 Years...100 Quotes show last night. It was pretty fun, because they would start showing clips from a movie and I'd yell out the quote. Of course, I have my own list of quotable quotes. I didn't put the name of the movie in case you want to try and guess them yourself. It's not too hard since a) practically every-other one is from the same movie and b) almost all of them came from my list of favorite movies.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" (those are quotes)

1. When it comes to pain and suffering, she's right up there with Elizabeth Taylor.
Steel Magnolias
2. Let's hear it for the toilet paper!
3. They're either married or gay. And if they're not gay, they've just broken up with the most wonderful woman in the world, or they've just broken up with a bitch who looks exactly like me. They're in transition from a monogamous relationship and they need more space. Or they're tired of space, but they just can't commit. Or they want to commit, but they're afraid to get close. They want to get close, you don't want to get near them.
The Big Chill
4. Once upon a time your mama knew what it meant to shine.
Hope Floats
5. I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair.
Steel Magnolias
6. Demented and sad, but social.
The Breakfast Club
7. I'm calling the organization of the United Brotherhood of It's None of Your Damn Business, Lewis.
The American President
8. Get off... the nuclear... warhead.
9. I'm just screamin' at my husband; I can do that any time.
Steel Magnolias
10. Look at me. My life has no meaning or direction, and I'm happy.
Hope Floats
11. I don't reckon I got no reason to kill no-bod-dee. Mmm.
Sling Blade
12. Amazing tradition. They throw a great party for you on the one day they know you can't come.
The Big Chill
13. I'm not going to work at The Gap for chrissake!
Reality Bites
14. I love ya more than my luggage.
Steel Magnolias
15. If you were a dork you should say you're sorry. Girls like that.
The American President
16. Noah was a drunk. Look what he accomplished. And no one's even asking you to build an ark. Dogma
17. I like all of God's creatures, I just like some of them better stuffed.
Hope Floats
18. I love you, but we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!
Flash Gordon
19. The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.
Steel Magnolias
20. It was a banner fuckin' year at the old Bender family.
The Breakfast Club
21. If that was an undecided we need to work on our people skills.
The American President
22. If you're going to sleep this late, you're going to miss a few minidramas.
The Big Chill
23. Very good, Annelle! Spoken like a true smart-ass!
Steel Magnolias
24. The only man a girl can depend on is her daddy.
25. Oh, he's a real gentleman. I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it.
Steel Magnolias
26. Nineteen post-graduate degrees in mathematics, and your best explanation for going from a 63 to a 46 percent approval rating in five weeks is "mood swings"?
The American President
27. No one ever said it would be fun, at least... no one ever said it to me.
The Big Chill
28. If he gets up, we'll all get up, it'll be anarchy.
The Breakfast Club
29. They're family and I love 'em, but I swear sometimes they're all carved outta cream cheese.
Steel Magnolias
30. You think that's bad? I owe 100 grand to a fat-ass loan shark which I spent on a stripper named Molly Mounds.
31. I don't know how you're doing on the inside but your hair's just holdin' up beautifully.
Steel Magnolias
32. With all due respect, sir, the American people have a funny way of deciding on their own what is and what is not their business.
The American President
33. Yeah we put on a great funeral here...we give first priority to those who kill themselves in one of our bathrooms.
The Big Chill

Monday, June 20, 2005

Top Ten Reasons Why I Love the New Job

10. Cool creative office nameplates are personally designed with your photo.
9. The IT guy doesn't care if I stream audio from Seattle all day.
8. I attended my first production meeting and won 10 bucks in a trivia contest.
7. My office is full of natural light.
6. I only used 1/3 a tank of gas in all of last week.
5. Two words: Summer. Intern. (I get one of my very own!)
4. Creative environment doesn't require that you wear headphones even if you're listening to the White Stripes.
3. Dude, there's BEER in the fridge!
2. I leave at 8 (8 AM!!!), stop for coffee, and I'm STILL one of the first one's there!

And the number one reason why I Love the New Job:

1. Shirts that bare a bit of shoulder don't earn ya a one-way trip to HR!!

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Kalisah spends the weekend testing out her new camera phone

Friday night dinner at the sushi resteraunt. As typical: Big Daddy is eating; My Kid is fooling around.

This is what 11-year-old just naturally do with straws and chopsticks.

also good for pinching dad's head Posted by Hello

Saturday morning I met my friend An and her boyfriend for coffee.

Here she is programing my new cell number into her phone. I think she put the sunglasses on b/c she knew I was taking her picture.

Friday, June 17, 2005

I'm still here...it's just been harder to see me this week

I've been so, so busy.

And so, soooo tired.

I fully intend to come home and update you on the new job, but then I fall asleep waiting for the laptop to power on.

This week, in addition to learing my way around, I've:

  • written two news releases
  • written a feature story for a publication
  • compiled three media lists comprised of more than 500 media outlets
  • attended a four-hour client meeting downtown
  • attended a reception for a video production company
  • written a publicity/visibility plan
  • read tons of information trying to learn background info on my clients

It's great! I love that they just threw a ton of work at me from the start. Everyone is super friendly and helpful. I totally dig working in the creative, energetic environment. AND...my friends back at the old job still email me the stupid things that come out of my former boss's mouth. It's the best of both worlds!

Monday, June 13, 2005



What? Michael Jackson was found not guilty?

Katie Holmes is converting to Scientology?

Pink Floyd is reuniting for Live 8?

Paris Hilton says she's giving up the public life?

Ehhh...ya call this news? Here's some news for ya:


Sunday, June 12, 2005

In all the uproar of my professional life I totally forgot

Today's my one-year blogiversery.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

The Duff sisters have decided to adopt the whole sisters-posing-cheek-to-cheek red carpet approach that has worked so well in the past for the Olsen twins.

OK this is pretty weird

Brad & Angelina have posed for a W magazine photo spread as a 1960s married couple. How very brave of them.

Check out the one where Angelina's climbing on top of Brad and he's got his hands DOWN HIS PANTS. (And that's not even the strangest part of that photo: ummm...is that a GUN in your hand or are you just happy to see me?)

And the one where he's lifting his wife who appears to be passed out cold on the shag carpet? Yeah, I don't get that one at all.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Today, for your viewing pleasure...

I'm enjoying an unexpected day off with My Kid today because my [former] company decided they didn't need me to work out my 4-weeks notice. Which is very cool with me b/c now I get to start my new fabulous job on MONDAY! Yay!

So I've spent the morning uploading photos into Flickr. I'm still missing some - like most of the ones from my trip to Monaco which I'm going to have to scan since I didn't take the digital camera with me b/c I didn't have the necessary adaptor to charge it in their crazy European plugs but first I have to hook up the scanner. So it may be a while. Although I'm pretty sure I could have scanned them all in the time it took me to type that run-on sentence.

So enjoy!

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Going Out with a Bang (or, They Probably Won't Have Any Video Presentations When I Leave)

Every summer we have a National Staff Meeting where all of our employees come to Memphis for FUN! and continuing education about the organization they work for. I think we're up to 440 people this year.

The NSM coincides with our National Convention, which is kind of like National Staff Meeting for our Board Members and Founding Family and Volunteers: They, too, come to Memphis for FUN! and education about the organization they volunteer for. There's about 300 of them.

So Staff Meeting begins tomorrow and runs through Friday morning with FUN! events (like VIDEOS! and totally FUN! powerpoint presentations by each of the VPs sharing what's NEW! in their area.)

The Convention starts Friday afternoon and runs all day Saturday. And I do mean All. Day. Until 9 or 10 at night. On a Saturday.

I guess technically, I could skip the whole damn thing this year. Since their pep rally will be completely wasted on me. But this year is special, and I wouldn't miss it.

Our CEO is retiring at the end of the month. So this is his LAST! staff meeting. And LAST! convention. LAST! Meet the Patients session. LAST! Volunteer Awards Brunch.

Oh my god! This is the last video he'll sit through with us! And that's the last rubber chicken dinner he'll eat with us! And that's the last time he'll shake that guy's hand! And that's the last vodka on the rocks his secretary will bring him!

(You can see that it very quickly turns into one overblown tribute dinner after another. I think - b/c our dept produces these things - we're up to two video and three powerpoint presentations in his honor.)


You know, all the funny photos of him in compromising positions. And 1970s hair. It'll be just one giant laugh riot.

Today they had the staff start signing a big banner for him. LIKE HE'S GOING TO READ ALL 450 OF THOSE NOSTALGIC COMMENTS. I wrote "I'll miss you...but we'll always have Monaco!" hee hee

Here's the part that really annoys the hell outta me at these things though: Forced Interaction.

Yes, for the convention dinner Saturday night, we have ASSIGNED SEATING.

Not "assigned" like: "These 18 tables in the back of the room are for staff...sit where you want." Oh no, no, no.

"Assigned" like: "You will sit for hours next to staff you do not like very much and volunteers you do not know at all. Even if they're asshats. And if in fact they do suck, may I recommend that you NOT drink too much wine, because they're probably Board Members." Assigned like that.

I sure do hate it when people try to force consenting adults to interact. Grrr...

I only hope that whoever did the seating arrangements hadn't heard yet that I'm leaving, and they DO sit me next to a Board Member...boy, won't I have an earful for them!


Snidget wants to know: What movie character are you?

She toatlly stumped me. I'm really going to have to think on that one a bit.

It's a hard question, because perhaps the character most like me isn't even in a movie I like. MAYBE SHE'S A BITCH AND I TOTALLY HATED HER!!!

So tell me about you:
1. What movie character is most like you?

And then help me out:
2. What movie character is most like ME?

Monday, June 06, 2005

Notice Day - the afternoon

It's been pretty quiet all afternoon. No big announcement about me leaving or even an appointment for an "emergency 5-minute meeting" that D-Bitch likes to call when people have turned in their resignation (there's been quite a rash of them in our dept. lately).

I know she was in the boss's office for a while with the door shut.

And now he's sent me an email asking me to come in and "chat" at 4. I wonder if I'm in for one of his long-winded speeches. God, that man loves to hear his own voice. I won't miss that.

I doubt there's going to be any kind of counter-offer. In the eight years I've worked for him, I've never known him to make one. He always says, "If they're not happy here, we should let them go." He doesn't try to keep anyone.

At any rate, I won't stand for any lectures or attempts to guilt-trip me. I'd almost treasure the opportunity to stand up and say, "I don't have to listen to this anymore" and walk out of his big, messy corner office.

Update, 6:09 p.m.:
I'm telling you, my boss is a dick even when he's trying to be sincere. Maybe he was feeling some guilt himself, (more likely he wanted to make sure I wasn't saying anything bad about him in the exit interview...) but he sure wanted to make it clear that HE DID NOT RUN ME OFF.

"Besides myself, you're probably the one person who is responsible for the growth of this department." Dude, I know, and I totally took credit for that when I interviewed for my new job!

"I really value your strategic vision and was hoping to have that AND have D-Bitch as the Director." And you seriously thought I would hang around for THAT offer?

"You're bright. You're very bright." I'm just not director-material, huh?

"Let me just give you one piece of advice, as your mentor and your friend..." Eh-cue' me? Since when did we become FRIENDS? And MENTOR? Don't even go there. I'd rather gnaw off my own arm than model my career after you, mother-fucker.

At least D-Bitch says all the "right" things as a properly-trained manager should. This guy? He couldn't get it right if you gave it to him on a teleprompter.

Exit Survey

As soon as HR found out I was leaving, they summoned me down for an exit survey. I was a little surprised. I thought I'd do that at the end of my four-weeks notice. My answers are to follow:

Did you like working for XXX?

Did you receive the proper training to do your job well?
[god, that's such an HR question, isn't it?]

Were the personnel policies explained to you?
Yes [shouldn't an exit survey have more open-ended questions?]

Was your supervisor helpful and supportive of you?

Conversation which followed:
HR Manager (disbelievingly): "Not helpful and supportive at all?"
Me: "Well, if you consider changing meeting times and not telling me so that I missed them 'helpful', then yeah."

Were your coworkers and managers friendly?
Not Really
[since not a one of them, ever, included me when big groups of them would go to lunch together]

Do you feel you were treated fairly? If not, please explain.
No - how can anyone say that the way I dress doesn't represent the org properly when my VP wears frayed shirts, inside-out sweatshirts, and a baseball cap everyday?

HRM: (tries to turn conversation back to my clothing)
Me: "The question was about equality. I think if you're going to bring a woman in and tell her her skirts are too short you should also bring a man in when his dress is equally unprofessional."
HRM: "You're right." [she's paid to say that]

What did you like best about your job?
good benefits

What did you like least about your job?
working for (name redacted)

What suggestions do you have for making this a better place to work?
more equality among departments; more women executives; less responsiblity to Board and Committee members

What was your reason for leaving XXX?
I've accepted an advanced position with another company

I gave my notice

The director, who I can now call by her official title "D-Bitch," was surprised at first, but then all her managment class training kicked in:

"Well congratulations; this is certainly a great opportunity for you."

"I'm just sorry that we didn't get to work together longer."

"Can I ask where you're going?"

"Well - and I'm not just saying this because now I have another position to fill - you will certainly be hard to replace."

I just kept grinning uncontrollably and nodding my head a lot.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

See how quickly she spends her money before she even makes it

Today I went to Joseph to buy some make up and surprise! they were having one of their semi-regular shoe sales. This must be my lucky day.

I got a pair of Stuart Weitzman open-toed slingbacks for $160!!! With deals like that, there is absolutely no excuse for wearing cheap shoes.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Makes perfect sense to me

Have you seen that Payless commercial where the Madagascar characters are running down the city street at night, and the hippo character stops to admire the shoes in the window and bat her big fake eyelashes at them?



Thursday, June 02, 2005

Here's the best part that I haven't even told you yet, but SpudBuddy was wise enough to comment on

My current job owes me for SIX WEEKS OF VACATION TIME! Yes, that's three full pay checks! Which will totally and obviously and completely be used to BUY NEW CLOTHES FOR MY NEW . . . TIRES.

It appears we have a deal on the tires.

Hold on one second while my insides flutter around and I do the happy dance of pure unadulterated JOY.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

It's hard to leave when you can't find a door

Are you watching this Eagles concert special on tv? DUDE! I love those freaking rich old wrinkled egotistical bastards! Luckily I am home alone because I think Big Daddy would have freaked the fuck out if he had witnessed that air guitar thing I was doing during the Hotel California guitar solo. Which, IMHO, is one of the best muscial moments in history.

But what's up with that crazy Joe Walsh?? I think he may have taken one too many hits of acid. Is he wearing women's pajama pants?

I woke up with this song in my head for no good reason

Remember this one?

Your nobody called today.
She hung up when I asked her name.
Well I wonder, does she think she's being clever? (clev-er, ah-ah)
You say nobody's after you.
The fact is, what you say is true,
But I can love you like nobody can . . . even better.