Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Fashion Delimma

I have to go out of town for a client meeting. I've been invited to join his clients on a DINNER CRUISE while I'm there.




I'm thinking something wool, maybe in winter white.


Sunday, February 25, 2007

The Show

This must be the classiest opening of the Oscars ever. It gave me chills. I thought I was going to get choked up. Superb.

Ellen's hair looks great! Not so crazy about the burgundy velvet tuxedo (w/ white shoes even), but if anyone can pull it off, Ellen can.

She killed! Ellen Killed at The Oscars!! From now on, no one gets to host but her.

Nicole looks better than she has in years. Or at least her last 10 or 12 public appearances.

OK, I get that they had the kids present the "shorts" but the short films tend to be foreign and that's a little unfair to expect the kids to pronounce them. Still, that Abagail did a good job. She must be one smart cookie.

UPSET ALERT!!!!! Alan Arkin wins over Eddie Murphy for supporting actor. Didn't see that one coming AT. ALL.

Maybe it's a sign of things to come. Wouldn't it be GREAT one year, if all the people who were predicted to win, didn't? That would really throw things off the next year, huh?

I find that when Randy Newman's nominated song comes on is usually a good time to go use the bathroom or refresh the ice in your drink or jam a rusty fork into your ear. Whichever.

The older Kate Capshaw gets, the more she looks like she has Down's Syndrome.

Someone (Jon Stewart maybe?) said recently that a movie about America's propensity toward overconsumption would be a lot easier to swallow if it weren't being represented by Al Gore. Have you seen the man? He's a whale.

Why is Jack bald? They must've shown him six times by now and I only just finally recognized him.

Helen Mirren makes me proud to be a woman.

Best Adapted Screenplay: The Departed. [We're an hour and a half into the show before one I picked actually wins.] Nice speech by the writer. Course, he is a writer. He ought to have written something inspiring or meaningful or at least entertaining.

Emily Blunt is so fab. I love how her boobs don't look smashed or bulging or mismatched or deformed under her strapless dress. I hope she has a long and successful film career because I really want her to stick around.

Dude, who let Tom Cruise in?

I'm sure this woman is a saint, but doesn't Hollywood know that we don't care about their lifetime awards for people we don't know??? Anyway, the way Tom kept talking about her in the past tense, I thought she was dead. Ewww. Look at the difference between her face and her neck. That woman's had some work done.

E! had Gweneth on their Top 5 list. She looks pretty good, but I don't think she's all that tonight. She looks like she needs about 4 inches of dead ends cut off her hair.

Hold on one sec while I run over to IMDB and see how old Catherine Deneuve is....whoa. 64. She looks amazing. Really amazing. All of her. Not just her face.

Is it an upset that Pan's Labyrinth didn't win for foreign language film? I think it probably is.

That Gael kid is so cute but Natalie should tell him not to wear his hair in a butt cut.

Oh Lord. Did Al Gore just win an Oscar? To steal from Jon, "For those of you keeping score at home, that's Al Gore: One Oscar; Martin Scorsese: None."

I don't know a lot about men who score films (other than John Williams) but if that's Quincy Jones sitting up in the balcony next to him, my man has gotten FAT.

Oh great. Now they're going to let Ruth Buzzi sing. I think I have some laundry to put away.

Damn, Clint Eastwood looks really old. I'm seriously concerned for his health. How old is he? Is he 80? He looks 80.

OK, this is awkward. Clint speaks Italian? WTF is going on here?

I looked it up. He's not 80. He'll be 77 in May.

Don't you think Toby Maguire is gay? Just a little bit?

Kirsten Dunst & I have the same hairdo right now. Only she's at the Oscars and I've spent the day doing laundry and going grocery shopping.

These dancers or whatever they are - the ones who also do that car commercial? - are so very, very cool.

Big Daddy thinks Will Smith looks like Curious George.

I want Kate Winslet's classy British accent. Also her hair, her cheekbones and her lips, please.

What, Phillip Seymour couldn't comb his hair to go to the Oscars??

Reesey looks A. Maze. Ing. She shoulda got single a long time ago.

It's really hard for me to believe that Peter O'Toole has never won an Oscar. But such is life.

Forest Whitaker's wife is so beautiful. What a great speech. Bravo, Forest.

They're totally giving the Director's award to Marty. No way they broke out Coppola, Spielberg and Lucas to give it to Clint again.

You are witnessing an historic occasion, people.

I thought The Departed was a fine film; I think it won an Oscar for the Best Film of 2006 b/c of the overwhelming public support of Scorsese. I have a hard time accepting it as a "better" film than The Queen or Babel or even Blood Diamond. But I guess that's why they don't give me a vote.

Hooray for Hollywood.

Say goodnight, Gracie.


Are you watching the red carpet?

I'm ordinarily not a huge fan of Penelope Cruz, but she looks amazing tonight. Perfect hair, perfect makeup. Too bad her dress looks like she's wrapped herself up in a bathmat.

Cameron needs to go away for a while and renew. Maybe get a new stylist. I think she looks like ass.

Jessica Biel has gotten too gorgeous for her own good. I love that she wore fuchsia.

Jada Pinkett Smith looks like a man, babee.

I know I've said this before (about 89 times) but there has GOT to be a better red carpet interviewer somewhere on the face of this earth. How is it possible that they can all suck so bad at such a high-end job?

Leo is hot. He really is. If we could set him up with a nice Hollywood lass, who would it be?

Did you know Damon Hounsou was in all those music videos? I did not.

Case in point on the interviewer thing: Ryan Seacrest was busy showing his underwear to the camera when he should have been interviewing Helen Mirren. What a wanker.

I think Dame Helen is infallible.

Cate Blanchett could work a red carpet for a living. She is really tops at this.

Whose tie is Kirsten Dunst fixing?

I am not a fan of Celine Dion. I think she looks like Ruth Buzzi.

I really, really want to like Annie Hathaway, but she needs a new stylist. She should take a note from Penelope on the makeup tonight.

Forrest Whitaker. Did I ever tell you that he made one of my favorite movies?

I despise J.Lo's hair like that. And who knew Mark was such a camera hog? Geez.

Gwenyth is developing quite a Madonna-like fake English accent.

Girrrl, I LIKE Queen Latifah's hair color.

Beyonce looks like she's been crowned Mining Queen in that rock sash. At least she's got her messages down pat. "She deserves to win." "I'm so pleased to have been associated with the film." "It's a wonderful year to be an African-American actor."

Don't you think Eddie Murphy's gay? A little bit?

Reese looks fab, as ususal. Someone in LA is making a KILLING in hair extensions.

Well Meryl's fashionable Globes appearance must have been a fluke. She's back to looking like a frumpy lady again rather than the icon that she is.


Saturday, February 24, 2007

May or may not be spoilers ahead

In preparation for tomorrow night's Academy awards, I watched two of the nominated films today on DVD. Then I took a nap and woke up thinking the red carpets were on which, of course, it was only Saturday. (I also thought when I woke up that Big Daddy had cleaned the kitchen while I slept but, alas, that too was only a dream.)

I had avoided watching "The Departed" because I don't really do violence. Turns out it wasn't all that bad (except for, you know, all the people that got shot in the head). I was really impressed by this movie and I think there's a conspiracy if Marty doesn't win an Oscar for it. I recently watched "Raging Bull" on the classic film network and that man is seriously long overdue. Not just that, but he's earned it this time. This film (IMHO) is better than Aviator and Gangs of NY and I like it a whole lot better than Goodfellas (now there's some violence for you).

The acting in that movie was superb too. I guess it started with my crush on good ole' Will Hunting, but I think a tough guy with a Boston southie accent is just hot. There were an awful lot of people getting back to their Irish roots in that film, but I think Marky Mark and Leo were the real standouts. Jack, I mean really? Does he ever play anyone but Jack? The man has absolutely no range. Alec Baldwin I never used to like when he was married to that tramp Kim Bassinger, but I'm liking him more & more the more I see him. Maybe I'll start watching that 30 Rock or whatever Tina Fey's show is called.

I also watched "Babel," which is one I've been anxious to see. I was 20 minutes into the movie before I realized that the DVD defaults to no subtitles but that there are in fact subtitles if you want to turn them on and just because the movie is called "Babel" doesn't mean you're not supposed to understand three quarters of it.

I'm not sure what this movie hoped to inspire in its viewers but for me, it brought out the mama lion. It was impossibly hard to see children innocently start an international incident, left behind in a Mexican border desert, and starved for human affection.

And poor Richard Jones. First his wife gets shot by a stray bullet in the desert of Morocco while they're there trying to get over the SIDS death of their third child, then Immigration calls from San Diego because his illegal housekeeper has taken his two children to Mexico and they all nearly die in the desert trying to get back into California. The man is not having a good week. Plus the nanny was deported so on top of everything else he has to find new domestic help when he gets back in the states.

I picked "Babel" to "pull a 'Crash'" at the Globes and I'm sticking with it for tomorrow night as well. It was an excellent film, strong and thought-provoking. And there were no rats in it, so it gets bonus points right there from me for that.


Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Britney, Britney, Britney (*shakes head*)

I suppose at this point everyone has an opinion on Britney's madness. But I imagine that you're all dying to hear mine. Because I'm full of self-importance that way.

As someone who has battled a few demons of my own, perhaps I can shed some light on her massively destructive behavior. First of all, please understand that addiction causes a person to make devastatingly bad decisions. When you, quite literally, can't live with a substance and you can't live without it, your judgment becomes quite impaired.

Secondly, you may have noticed that Britney appears to have a lot of other problems besides her heavy partying. That's not unusual, because really? The addictive behavior is just a symptom of the problem. We drink to excess and use drugs because we are so fucking unhappy in our lives. We're seeking the elusive high we felt the first time we drank or used. We're trying to change the way we feel.

Trouble is, it's only a temporary fix. Then, when you wake up to that pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization, you drink some more to get rid of those feelings. You're probably seeing the vicious cycle here.

(And yes, I do think she shaved off her hair because she was scared Kevin was going to have her drug tested. Course, she was so whacked out she didn't have the sense to take the hair with her. That's sooo something an alcoholic would do. That, and driving in a diaper so you don't have to stop & pee. Very, very alcoholic.)

We all start out needing to get off the substance, but the by-product of programs like AA is that you learn how to fix your thinking. We learn to stop thinking everything in the world is someone else's damn fault and why can't you all just appreciate me dammit??? WHYYYY? WHYYYYYY??? (/Sally Field traumatic breakdown)

You may be thinking, "Girl, this child is fucked. How is rehab going to fix all the things that are wrong with her?" To which I would say, "Well, no, there is no magic pill. And if there were, I'd have OD'ed on them anyway." But for starters, rehab will get her off this downward spiral she's on. And you'd be surprised how SO MANY of your other problems in life seemingly repair themselves when you start practicing the 12 Steps. Seriously.

Because the using is just a symptom of the problem, remember? And the 12 Steps are a plan of action for dealing with the underlying problems, whatever they may be. In Britney's case, I can only assume that includes typical child-star issues (being exploited by the people who are supposed to protect you, growing up too fast, never learning how to deal with adult responsibilities, having waaaay more money than sense, etc.) lethally combined with the failed relationships, the divorces, the possibility of post-natal depression. The list just goes on and on, doesn't it?

So much for the diagnosis. You probably had come to that conclusion on your own already. So now, what can be done??

I'm not a doctor but I think it's pretty obvious the girl needs some meds to even her out. And extensive long-term treatment. None of this 30-day bullshit. No getting out to go skiing or promote her movie or work on her album or whatever.

If it's true that her parents have cancelled her credit cards, etc, then they're taking the right action. Tough love is the only way to go, and it's a hard, hard line to walk, that one. You can't force someone into help if they're not ready. They're not going to get clean and stay sober if they haven't hit their bottom. To the outsider, you think, "Geez, how much lower can she go?" but you don't know. Oh, you just do. not. know. It can get pretty damn ugly.

You hope and you pray that they live through it. Her mom or someone - Kevin, even - needs to get those kids out of her grasp. Because we all know she's going down; she shouldn't be allowed to take innocent babies with her.

Now I don't have any experience with having my exploits splashed all over the internet for millions of readers to see, but I have to believe that the media's not helping any by reporting her every move. She's hating herself right now and craving the love she used to get from her fans, and she's sick enough to think this obsessive coverage is devotion. It's probably fueling her at this point.

You might ask, “Kalisah, what is she thinking?” Well, I can’t know for sure (especially if there’s some serious mental illness involved) but I have some idea.

She’s thinking that everyone needs to LEAVE HER THE HELL ALONE AND SHE WOULD BE JUST FINE.

She’s thinking that she’s got a hold on it. She may be feeling like things are spinning out of control a bit, but she still thinks she can pull out of this skid. IF ONLY EVERYONE WOULD LEAVE HER THE HELL ALONE.

She’s thinking that it’s not as bad as everyone acts like it is. She’s thinking that she knows TONS of people who drink more than she does.

She’s thinking that it’s NORMAL for a girl going through a divorce to go out and party and have a little fun. She’s thinking you people are just way too uptight.

She’s thinking that it’s all Kevin’s fault anyway. Motherfucker.

And Mom’s. That bitch. Always nagging at her.

And Dad’s. He thinks EVERYONE’S an alcoholic now that he’s joined that damn AA cult.

Other than that, she’s just thinking about how she’s gonna get her next buzz.

That’s what she’s thinking.


Saturday, February 17, 2007


I just watched "Hollywoodland" which I really liked, for several reasons, not the least of which being that I've had a completely unexplained crush on Adrien Brody ever since he played that pianist. And you know how I love Diane Lane. I think she looks more beautiful and classy with every passing year. And I was sucked in by the old Hollywood feel of the film, even it if was full of anachronisms.

I thought Ben Affleck did a fine job at playing the man who hated being Superman. I put his performance as a down-and-out actor right up there with Madonna as a woman who slept her way to success in Evita and Courtney Love as a heroin addict in Larry Flynt.


Friday, February 16, 2007

Hey Stacy & Clinton,

I have a question for you.

When did the empire (IM-pi-yur) waist become the empire (ohm-PEER) waist?

If one of you could just get back to me on that.



Wednesday, February 14, 2007

New Blogger fucked up my blog

Actually, I fell for the old "Customize your template!" scheme. They told me I would lose all the changes I'd made to my template, but they'd be saved indefinitely. Only they didn't tell me WHERE they'd be saved.

So I clicked on the update thing. Lost my stuff. Fucked up my page.

And the customization they offered sucked ass anyway.

Damn new blogger.

So then I got pissed at the whole thing and spent hours and hours online doing research to change my template and reading tutorials on how to create my own damn design. I was determined not to go to bed until it was done.

Which would all be quite a feat, really, considering that I don't even know how to change my font color in Photoshop and have no idea if I even HAVE an HTML editor on this machine.

Big Daddy went to a movie...and came home...and I was still sitting here.

As you can see, I accomplished absolutely nothing.


UPDATE: I found some code from a year ago that I'd saved, so I at least put that back on. Not where it was, but at least not where damn New Blogger put it. Bastids.

UPDATED UPDATE: I took this new template off a free blog template site. This is going to be it for now until I decide what I want to do with it. I think I got most of my links & stuff back where they were.


Public Service Announcement

How to know if your pop star may be in trouble:

  • She marries indiscriminately.
  • She divorces habitually.
  • She appears in public photos without underwear.
  • She drinks excessively.
  • She becomes dependant on alcohol or other drugs.
  • She forgets that she is a mother of two young babies.
  • She becomes sex and/or love addicted.
  • She bounces from relationship to relationship.
  • She loses interest in personal hygiene.

If you or someone you know is experiencing problems with your pop star, call Charter Hospitals for a free, no obligations consultation today.


Tuesday, February 13, 2007

My TV is so fucked up

Right now I am listening to the Today show. Only listening b/c my screen is STUCK on that purple "Comcast announcements" screen. The audio matches the channel I'm supposed to be on, thought, so I can change channels and listen to whatever I want.

Prior to this new development, we went through all of these:

1. The picture would constantly freeze up and then pixelate. Over and over again.
2. When recording a show on the DVR, a commercial would "get stuck" and keep repeating over and over for about 10 minutes. Needless to say, the show did not record correctly.
3. If you try to rewind live TV, the screen just goes black.
4. If you push "stop" on live TV (say, to try & get the freezing and the pixelating to "stop"), the video would freeze, but the audio would continue.
5. Eventually, the cable box would shut down completely.
6. But the audio would keep going!
7. The recording shut off 11 minutes into "The Office" this week which means I missed Phyllis's wedding.

I'm assuming my digital harddrive is just shot. (It is several years old.) I've tried rebooting it several times. In fact, that's how my screen got stuck on this purple screen of death.

My Kid suggested unplugging the box and plugging the cable straight into to the TV. At least that way I could watch basic cable. Course, that's way out of my league. Big Daddy's gonna have to do that for me. Last time I tried to do something to the back of the television in my bedroom, the entire thing came crashing down on top of me. TVs are not my friend.


Monday, February 12, 2007

What did you think of the Grammys?

I thought this:

1. Three-and-a-half hours to give 10 awards?? This should not be called an awards show; this should be called A Whole Lot Of People Getting Together To Perform show.
2. I love The Police. They were my favorite band in high school and I was super-psyched about them opening the show. But I think they need a few more rehearsals before they take it out on the road.
3. Whoever produced that show is a complete moron.
4. The stage in the middle of the audience was awkward.
5. Singers in general and the Dixie Chicks in particular give horrible acceptance speeches.
6. The quality of the performances was about a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10.
7. Especially that guy who calls himself after the basketball player.
8. The Carrie Underwood/Rascal Flatts performance went on about 10 minutes longer than necessary.
9. And it's really distracting how she keeps moving her hands from one to the other on the microphone. Someone needs to break her of that habit immediately.
10. The Grammys seem to be the only major awards program that takes commercial success into account. Could you imagine if the Oscars did that? The Oscar for Best Film would be a toss-up between Pirates of the Caribbean and Cars.

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Saturday, February 10, 2007

On a more serious note, as Anne Curry says when she has to segue into a story that kicks you in the gut

Last night when My Kid got home from his school Valentine's Dance, while I was watching "Big Love" on the DVR, he came and sat down on the sofa and said, "I don't think Alex is going to be at the game tomorrow."

(Alex is his best friend from school and they play on the same basketball team.)

I put the Henricksons on pause.

"This guy he went to school with from kindergarten to fourth grade killed himself."



My response was, "Oh my god, that's tragic" which is not a word I use often or one I throw around lightly. I wanted My Kid to know that I recognized the extreme gravity of the situation.

Apparently, this boy went to Kid's school before My Kid did. The 13-year-old took his own life because his girlfriend broke up with him. The girlfriend goes to My Kid's school and was at the dance. She got the call there and told Alex about it.

Now, when an opportunity presents itself to talk to your teenager like this (or like this), it's important that you keep it light. That may seem like an odd choice of words, given that the subject at hand was anything BUT light. But what I mean is, you can't come at them heavy and sermonlike with a whole lot of words.

It's like you're playing hide-and-seek with your teen, and he's hiding around the corner of a building, peeking around it, watching for you. The only way to get him, is to go all the way around the other side and sneak up behind him.

"His parents must be absolutely devastated," I said. (Message: I don't know what I would do if that had been you.)

"He must have had a lot of other problems to feel that hopeless and take his own life," I said. (Message: He was the exception. This is not normal. You would never do that.)

"That's so sad that he would end his life at such a young age. There would have been hundreds of girlfriends to come," I said. (Message: Do not think your life is over if you & Bailey break up.)

God knows I have struggled with depression and alcohol abuse over the years, and I have known sadness and despair and utter and incomprehensible demoralization. I have felt before that I just did not want to go on living. But I never felt the urge to take my own life.

When, as adults, even young adults, we look at our lives, we do not think of ourselves as eighth-graders. I hardly ever even remember those days. That is not who we are. It is but a short stage in who we will become. I can't imagine the despair a child of that age must feel to think that there could never be anything more.

Please pray for his family, if you participate in that sort of practice. I know you don't know them; I don't know them either. But when I think of what they must be going through, my heart hurts.

And hug your kids. Especially your teens and pre-teens. Remind them that this is a tough, tough period of their life, but it gets so, so much better, that their lives are never worthless or disposable, but are precious and valuable.

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Thursday, February 08, 2007

Oh, Anna

At first, when I heard NPR describe Anna Nicole posthumously as a "tabloid queen," I thought it was quite tragic. But then I realized that she:

a) was a stripper, who

b) married an 89-year-old billionaire, and then

c) posed for Playboy, and then

d) fought for her husband's money all the way to the Supreme Court, while she

e) appeared on television and in various public places completely wasted, including

f) her sleazy, no-holds-barred TV show, where

g) she blew up to three times her normal size, and then

h) lost it all using a questionable diet drug, and

i) had a baby out-of-wedlock, while at the same time

j) her son died from a supposed accidental mix of drugs, and

k) no one knew the paternity of her baby and

l) I realized that all of these topics have been subjects of Jerry Springer shows

m) multiple times

and that describing her legacy as a "tabloid queen" was probably kind. Oh, Anna.


Wednesday, February 07, 2007


Go here to read why Prince didn't get electrocuted at the Super Bowl. Apparently, I wasn't the only one questioning that.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Top 5 Favorite Television Characters

1. Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson (The Closer)
2. Babette (Gilmore Girls)
3. Dr. Greg House (House)
4. Dwight Schrute (The Office)
5. Marc (Ugly Betty)

Monday, February 05, 2007

Chapter 3: All the Colors of the Rainbow

OK, I've just uploaded a shitload of photos. There may have to be a Chapter 4. Turns out I've changed my hair A LOT in the last 20 years. OK, let the guffawing begin!

1987. It was a funky kind of period, ya know? As my hair grew out I had to improvise occasionally. Like this look, which demanded hair gel, a lot of hairspray and a hair dryer on high to achieve the desired effect. (This was my boyfriend in my early 20s. His name is Casey Jones. Seriously.)

Fall 1987. This is how my hair looked most days. Kinda fluffy. Also? Nice print jeans.

Christmas 1987. I'm pretty sure I was styling with only a hair dryer at this point. Probably scrunching and then pulling that lock of bangs down over one side (w/ my mom & dad).

Summer 1988. It's just about hitting my shoulders by now (w/my neice).

Summer 1989. Much longer and curlier now. I have sunglasses on my head in this photo, so it was pretty much big & curly at this point.

Christmas 1989 or 90 (w/ my brother). Yeah, this is pretty much what my hair looked like for about 3 years. It looks like it's just to my shoulders but it's not. It's much, much longer in back.

Sometime around 1990. Still big & curly. (That's my brother - who you should know by now - my sister, and her daughter.)

Christmas c. 1990. My hair is bigger than my face.

Eventually, the hours under the hair dryer got to be too much and I chopped it off. Still big though.

OK, the short is boring and ugly. Fast forward to 1992 when it's grown out long again. And I'm coloring it red. (Remember Daisey from high school?)

September 1992. When I met Big Daddy my hair was long, red and curly. Possibly influenced by the popularity of the Pretty Woman movie. Maybe.

Easter 1993. When I found out I was pregnant, I cut my hair off short. Because that's what we do. It's a Mom Rule. (I thought I was precious with this big bow in my head.)

Our wedding, May 1993. (Yes, I know this appears out of order, but no, it's right.) Dude, that is some big ass hair. Still red.

July 1993. My best friend Susan's wedding. The hair is longer now - nearly touching the shoulders. And occasionally...

I would straighten it. Horrible. It's triangular hair. It was SCREAMING for some layers.

August 1993. The Kid is born. It was actually kind of convenient to have it straightened here.

This was maybe March 1994. (He looks to be about 6 months old.) The hair is growing out, but the red had gotten so bright (and thus the beginning of my War on Roots) that I tried to go back to my natural color to cover it. It turned out a little dark. Wearing it curly, but still no layers.

In 1997 I graduated college (age 30). I cut my hair in order to appear professional and hireable. I took a photo of a soap opera character I liked and said, "I want this hair." It was STACK LAYERED and I straightened it with a huge curling iron. (I don't know if it's the hair cut or the weight, but my face looks really thin to me in this photo.)

c. 1998. Red again. Same cut, slightly longer, worn curly.

c. 2000. Longer, straightened, a nice soft red. I think this is my favorite look. This is the photo where I go, "Damn, I got good hair." Still straightening with the curling iron.

2002 on a cruise with Big Daddy. I suffered for years under the delusion that if I cut it short, I can control it. I never failed to be highly disappointed.

And then I grew it back out (it's a pattern) and went BLONDE. This is 2004 I think? Very long stack layers; straightened with a flat iron now. (*cough*roots*cough*)

Really, REALLY blonde at one point. (Sorry for the poor quality, but I broke TWO nails trying to get that photo out of the frame and finally said fuck it and scanned it in the frame. I wanted you to see how lethally blonde I was.) Still stacked (no pun intended), but much shorter layers.

Summer 2005. Still blonde (only not so severe). Still stacked, long layers.

I can still wear it curly, like when I'm at the beach. I never straighten my hair when I'm at the beach.

Fall 2005 (w/my co-worker Amy, who, BTW, as terribly, terribly cute hair). I cut off several inches and went Gilmore Girls dark. Still stack layered, my signature cut.

Summer 2006. Dark and curly (b/c I'm at the beach).

I'm sorry I'M SORRY I do not have a recent photo of me w/my bangs. Coming soon! I promise!

And that catches us up! Up next: I think I might go Dr. Addison Shepherd Red because I really like her hair color. Although I watched an old re-run of "Friends" tonight and Cortney Cox had the most adorable cut. Oh, you just never know.

Man, I don't know about you, but I'm worn. out.

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Coming Soon!

Chapter 3 of the Hair Trilogy. I'm trying to find sufficient photos from the last 20 years. Hell, I haven't even started experimenting with COLOR yet!

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Live Blogging the Super Bowl Commercials

Hit refresh if you're liveblogging along.
5:19 Billy Joel Sings the National Anthem: ehh. His voice sounded a lot better in the 80s.
5:20 Eddie Murphy as Norbit: A bet he hates that he's got another fat suit movie coming out now that he's got an Oscar nod.
5:21 Pizza Hut Cheesy Bites: Please god, don't make me sit through Jessica Simpson ads tonight...
5:35 Bud Light: "I threw paper" "I threw a rock" Very funny. Me & the kid laughed outloud.
5:35 Homemade Doritos ad: the guy did a nice job. I bet he gets a sweet job from winning that contest.
5:36 Blockbuster: Please don't show me animated rodents. Please.
5:39 Sierra Mist Beard Combover: this shit is obviously marketed toward men, because I'm finding it all a little gross.
5:48 Toyota Truck Happy Ending: extra points for the shock value.
5:48 FedEx Shipment to the Moon - Very creative. We've come to expect nothing less from Fred's place.
5:49 Budweiser Auctioneer Wedding - ehh. Funnyish.
5:55 Snickers Chest Hair - the "kiss" part was pretty funny, but then they resorted to grossout humor. The Kid and Big Daddy thought it was funny though, so mission accomplished, I suppose.
5:58 Chevy Singers: (umm, am I supposed to recognize ALL these singers? Because some of them seem famous but I'm not sure about others.) Good concept though, since I didn't remove my eyes from the screen while it was on.
5:59 Bud Lite No Speak English: My Kid loves that Mencia guy. He reminds me of that other politically incorrect comedian who relies on stereotypes to be funny.
6:00 David Letterman Late Show ad: DUDE! He got Oprah! Awesomeness.
6:15 GoDaddy.com: Eeeeverybody wants to work in marketing. Whatever.
6:16 Coke Give a little Love: didn't really appeal to me, but then I don't play those video games anyway. My Kid said, "This is a good commercial." (He had seen the longer version at the movie theater. And he does play those car jacking video games.)
6:23 Budweiser Fake Dalmation: it took a long time getting there, but it made me laugh.
6:24 Garmin navigation system: Was that Ultraman?
6:29 CareerBuilder.com: Excellent ad. A play on the success of themes like The Office and Dilbert.
6:29 Doritos Cashier: Even My Kid agreed - "That was discusting."
6:30 Chevy Car Wash: That one had us all laughing.
6:35 Bud Lite Fist Bumping is Out: I prefer Super Bowl ads that think a little further outside the box.
6:36 Beat Your Risk.com: A novel idea but porrly executed, I think.
6:39 GE Homeless Robot: I liked the part when the robot contemplated jumping off the bridge. But then he actually jumped and that depressed me a bit.
6:46 Sprint Connectile Dysfunction: Very funny. Extra points for making fun of what is the typical Super Bowl ad.
HALFTIME - Now how is Prince gonna perform in the rain? Oh, okay. With an Aunt Jemima rag on his head, that's how.
7:13 What, Prince doesn't have enough of his own songs to sing, he's gotta fill the halftime show with Tina Turner, Jimi Hendrix and the Foo Fighters? WTF?
7:15 I know I should just sit back and enjoy the show, but all I can think is, "How is he not being electrocuted?"
7:16 Nice effect with the big scarf, but see, I would've had them stretch it out over the top of the stage so I didn't have to sing in the rain.
7:16 Those kids around the stage? They're actually part of the Halftime performance. That's why you'll notice they all have wristbands on. When I went to a Super Bowl event in San Diego a few years ago, I got to watch the Halftime show rehearsals (with Sting, Gwen Stefani and Shania Twain) and the crowd around the stage is part of the show.
7:41 Coke Machine Assembly Line: Very cute. Ironicly, I go through that exact procedure every time I open a Coke.
7:42 Bud Light Gorillas: They have beer at the zoo?
Side Note: This game sucks. It's not like you can really evaluate which is the better team when they're playing in a tropical storm.
7:48 CareerBuilder.com The Corporate Training Continues: Chapters are cool enough during the Super Bowl, but how will they run in prime time?
7:48 Taco Bell Carne Asada: You can't miss with talking animals, right?
7:55 Toyota Truck: These ads do not look cheap. They're very effective though. If I were in the market for a pick up truck. Which I'm not. And won't be. Ever. In this lifetime.
7:56 Emerald Nuts Robert Goulet: Robert Goulet is still alive?
7:58 FedEx Ground: heh. Mr. Turkeyneck.
7:58 Nationwide Federline: I thought he was doing a Burger King ad. But now I get why the Taco Bell guy was offended. Bottom line: K-Fed will do anything for a buck.

OK, I think I've seen all I need to see. I'm going to wash my hair.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

One More Thing...

Go Colts.

Chapter 2: Just Can't Live Down the 80s

7th Grade (1978) w/ Mom. This 'do would actually be right in style today.

8th Grade. Mom took some "before" pictures before we cut all my hair off. (She tried to make me "model" but I wasn't very good at it.)

"After." 8th Grade Beta Club Induction. I wore it curled under and pulled back on one side in a look that was befitting of the disco era.

9th Grade (1980). I cut it even shorter in a "Dorothy Hamill." This was the only photo of it I could find, although it obviously is in desperate need of a trim here.

Summer after 9th grade (1981) I permed it. Then I didn't know what to do w/ it so I mostly let it air dry and wore it in an afro. Lovely. I might have warned you that we're about to enter into my most awkward teenage phase.

Later that summer: I grew out the perm a bit and began hot-rolling it. This photo was taken at the mall in New Orleans with my best friend Daisey after we got make-overs at Merle Norman.

10th Grade. Trying to cut out the perm, I went back to the wedge. Ugh.

Junior year (Fall, 1982). God this is BAD. Permed, curled (quite unsuccessfully) and pulled back in barrettes. Every day.

Junior Homecoming.

Spring of Junior Year (1983). Finally - the perm is grown out, the hair is hotrolled and tucked behind my ears.

Homecoming, Senior Year. Feathered, hotrolled. By this point my hair had become thicker and curlier although I didn't really realize that it was curly. I just thought it had these weird kind of waves in the back when I hotrolled it.

Christmas, Senior year (with Daisey). Still faithfully hotrolling, with the back curled under.

Senior Portrait, 1984. Still hotrolling, but now I'm curling the back BACK instead of under. That's why you can't even see it in this photo. Plus, it was pretty short.
Graduation, and I'm trying to keep my hat from falling off the back of my head.

1985 (with Shelley, right) I went even shorter.

Spring 1986 (w/ my brother) I went super short. Linda Dano made this look popular on "Another World" in the 80s. It frustrated me, though, because when I tried to spike it on top, it wouldn't stand up straight no matter how much gel I used.

So I started growing it back out later that year. (On Beale Street, my first trip to Memphis.) (1986. Nice cut-up t-shirt. How fashionable of me.)

And what I discovered, as I just let it grow and didn't do anything to it, was CURLS! To be continued...

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Friday, February 02, 2007

The Mullet that Wouldn't Die

Kristine posted this great photo essay (in three chapters) called "Autobiography of My Hair." It made me nostalgic for some of my old hairstyles. I apologize if some of you have seen some of these before.

Chapter 1 - Childhood

This is me at 1 year. I was a FAT baby. Also? Not much hair to speak of.

Age 2. Something about those crazy late 60s that made my mother dress me in stripes and prints and cut my hair like Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman.

Age 4. The short hair over my ears is pulled back in red plastic barrettes. The rest of my hair is half-way down my back. And check that "Allergic to Penicillin" jewelry I'm sporting.

Age 5 and the full-on Mary Hartman.

Age 5, post haircut. This was my first big haircut. We cut it all off, except for those crazy earbangs, which now seem to be some deranged sideburns. What was my mother thinking? Was this stylish in 1971? Surely not.

(Actually, it looks kind of cute from this angle.)

First Grade. 1972 Olympics and I was crazy about a certain Russian gymnast. Not only did I wear my hair like her, but I named the style after her, too: My "Olgas."

Second grade. I'm guessing my mom kept those bangs cut herself. Geez, they're blunt. And short. Also? Nice barrettes.

For my 7th birthday, we cut it into a pageboy....

...which my mother faithfully curled UNDER. I'm rocking the side-swept bang here, though.

Third grade, age 8. Growing it back out again. This is my natural hair color, but notice how thin and straight my hair was as a child.

Family portrait, circa 1975. Again with the cool side-swept bangs. I always loved this photo b/c it looks like my dad's head is poking out of the backdrop.

Sixth Grade (Fall, age 10). Oh god I HATED when my mother used to curl my bangs like that. And for the record? That's a one-piece green jumpsuit that I'm wearing. I thought it was the COOLEST THING EVER. Sixth grade (Spring, age 11). Again with the mullet, but parted on the side now. My mother told me to pull my long hair around to make sure that it showed in the photo. If I were smart, I'd have used it to cover up the SILK-SCREENED POCKET OF ROSES on my dress.

This was the occasion of my Primary graduation at church. That's the Bishop (who was also my best friend's dad) presenting me with a carnation. My hair is cut in WINGS. (In the front. Still long in back. Oy.)

Stay tuned to see what Chapter 2: The Teen Years has in store for us.

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