Thursday, March 30, 2006

Summer lovin'

This morning I the tanning bed. (dun dun dunnnnnnn!)

I know, I know.

But I'm putting my money on heredity, because so far my genes haven't even presented any wrinkles at the age of 39 so I'm hoping they're protecting me against even worse skin conditions.

And I have no intentions of fake-tanning myself into tanorexia. I just, you know - want a little jump start on some summer color.

Speaking of which, I'm off to my friend Vicky's to look for a new suit now.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Sex U Up

I don't really watch Desperate Housewives much anymore - it got too ridiculous in the second season and I just haven't been into it. Sometimes, though, I'll catch some of it while I'm waiting for Grey's Anatomy to come on.

That's what happened last week, and I happened to see Eva Longoria's new haircut. It's not a big change, but I liked it and I wanted it. Now when I get an idea for my hair in my head, I get set on it and I've learned to just go ahead and do it without much waiting around thinking about it because it's not going away. By yesterday (Tuesday) I'd made an appointment and was searching Google images for pictures of Eva's hair.

I couldn't really find the perfect one, although this one is close. I went in and told Grant that I wanted "more layers" around my face - you know....don't make me say it....OKAY! FEATHERS! OKAY?? YES! I WANT FEATHERS! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW??

The cut isn't a huge change, definitely I've got more layers. Grant's always so obsessed with my hair being even and symmetrical and all that and he insisted that if I wanted shorter layers around my face that all the layers would have to be shorter. I think I like it, but here's the thing:

I can't remember how to feather my hair!

Now, you'd think having hot-rolled and curling-ironed my hair into "wings" every single day from ninth to twelfth grade that this would be a skill that would come back to me fairly quickly. But the hair, it is not feathering. I can see I've got my work here cut out for me. Pictures to come eventually.

Spring Fashion News on the blogosphere

Two great things have happened to my blog this week.

First, this site contacted me and asked me to be a partner in their Fashion Community! From their site:

Coutorture gives fashion lovers news, commentary, and community in one convenient location. Integrating old media, fashion blogs, online magazines, and exclusive new media rich content, all while promoting a live forum of feedback and active participation, Coutorture is the new destination for online fashion.

Julie and her team are still getting the site up and running and I'm not even sure what it means for me except that I think they may pick up some of my fashion content from Overdressed. You can read more about it here.

The second really cool fashion find this week has been the fashion blogger Kristopher Dukes, who I think I may have been separated from at birth, only she was raised by the really cool, hip fashionista parents in NYC and I had to fend for myself with the Mormon family in Mississippi whose mom sewed matching culotte outfits for her girls. I highly recommend her entire site, but this page in particular caused me to have heart palpitations and I think there may have even been some sexual gratification involved.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Disclaimer to the Disclaimer

That previous post should have been published with a disclaimer, which would have read thusly:

*No offense to women who marry younger men. What's offensive was the way the woman was practically screaming, "LOOK AT ME! SEE HOW YOUNG AND TRENDY I AM???"

**Also, I think it's funny that Big Daddy's friend was married to that.

***If any of you who are from here know these people and recognized them because of my complete lack of attempt to veil their identities, then I'm sorry. I'm deeply embarrassed and morbidly ashamed of myself.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

March Madness Much Sadness


For the record, I was NOT crying!

We had a good run, and I thought it was our year. I truly believed we had a Final Four team this year.

But we were young and we'll be back in October. Till then guys, may I suggest you work on those 3-pointers?

We love you, Tigers.

Far be it from me to make fun of other people....

Oh, who am I kidding? I love to talk about people. I admit it! I'm shallow! I'm superficial! I'm going to hell! Whatever. It's entertaining!

Setting: Soccer Fields, 10:30 this morning, 47 degrees with a bitter cold wind blowing.

Kalisah walks up to sideline to place chair. Big Daddy is talking to Asst. Coach. He is young, about their age, cute, athletic; cast on left foot and crutches from, we assume, a soccer injury of his own.

Big Daddy: Mike, this is my wife, Kalisah.
Kalisah: Hi, nice to meet you, etc.
Big Daddy: We went to high school together.
Kalisah: Oh! How nice, etc.

Kalisah settles down in chair, covers up with blanet, commences shivering. Begins to notice family sitting to her right. Mom is epitome of "Germantown Housewife." She thinks she looks like Deidre Hall. Her hair is orange in the back with chunky streaks of white around her face. Makeup is heavier than 10:30 Saturday a.m. soccer game would require. Heavily lined lips. Gucci sunglasses, ugg boots and burberry blanket. Spends most of the game telling her 13-year-old daughter - who, BTW, looks at least 16 - to get her highlights done and is she going to go tan after the game? Occasionally yells out to son "Chase" on the field. Mom looks to be in her late 40s but trying awfully hard not to let it show.

Big Daddy leaves Mike and joins Kalisah at her chair.

Kalisah: Does Mike have a son on the team?
Big Daddy: Yeah. Step-son. "Chase"


Kalisah (motioning Deidre Hall woman with her eyebrows): OMG! That's HIS WIFE then!!

I don't think Big Daddy ever quite got what I was trying to tell him. Men. They just don't read eyebrows that well. When we got in the car to leave I was all "OMGOMGOMG" and I explained it to him and he was shocked. SHOCKED I tell you. Like jaw hanging slack. Then he started laughing and laughing and he was, "Holy shit! He married a woman twice his age!" and then I proceeded to remind him once again what a very, very lucky man he is.

Now, if you'll excuse me....I have a Survivior tune to download.

Friday, March 24, 2006


Let's see....who's gone down?

1. Reigning National Champions University of North Carolina Tarheels

2. Number 1 in the nation Duke University Blue Devils

And who's still on the Road to the Final Four?


Can I get a "Woot!"

This town is going nuts! Everywhere you go people are wearing blue & gray and giant "M's" and everyone's got those flags and windsocks on their cars and even the guy at the post office is ending every transaction with "Go Tigers!"

The radio is playing "Eye of the Tiger" on a regular basis and "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" for our unlucky opponents.

You'd think our very own sons were starting in the Super Bowl or something.

Then again, some of us actually included just this such event on our Before I Die list. We're what they call FANatics.


Thursday, March 23, 2006

What'cha readin'?

Last night I went to Barnes & Noble. Reading has become one of my most passionate passions. Right up there with crossword puzzles. I read about a book a week. So I spend a lot of time in B&N. I have a few rules that I adhere to when shopping for reading materials:

  1. I don't read any author whose books take up more than one full shelf in the bookstore.
  2. I typically steer clear of chick lit (except maybe if I'm looking for an occasional beach read).
  3. I don't mind if Oprah has chosen a book that I have, completely by coincidence, chosen to read. But I always try and find an edition that doesn't stamp a big "book club" symbol on it somewhere.
  4. I like classics, espeically ones I've never read (I went to high school in Mississippi afterall).
  5. I'm not opposed to reading books that were made into movies if they fit my other criteria.

I'm just looking for well-written novels with somewhat unique plotlines. Which is not easy. Especially when you stroll the aisles and find yourself saying, "Read that one. Read it. Read it. Read it."

Recently I've enjoyed Heir to the Glittering World, The Poisonwood Bible, Forever (not the Judy Blume one), High Fidelty, Breakfast at Tiffany's.

Last night I went with Trainspotting and Anna Karenina (not the O version), which I read once several years ago but for some reason I'm thinking that I never finished it. It's 754 pages for heaven's sake.

Since I just finished my annual reading of Pride & Prejudice I thought I'd go with the junkies in Trainspotting. Imagine my surprise when I began reading this:

The sweat wis lashing oafay Sick Boy; he wis trembling. Ah wis jist sitting thair, focusing oan the telly, tryin no tae notice the cunt. He wis bringing me doon. Ah tried tae keep my attention oan the Jean-Claude Van Damme video.

Huh? What the fuck is THIS? The whole book's not like this, is it?? I flip through. Well that was a big waste of $13.95. I can't read this shit.

And speaking of which....while I was perusing the Teen section with an eye out for anything that might entice My Kid to crack open a book, I found something called ttyl. Amazon explains it this way:

Audacious author Lauren Myracle accomplishes something of a literary miracle in her second young-adult novel, ttyl (Internet instant messaging shorthand for "talk to you later"), as she crafts an epistolary novel entirely out of IM transcripts between three high-school girls.

Yes, you read that right: AN ENTIRE BOOK WRITTEN IN 'IM.' "Literary miracle" my ass. She ought to be horse-whipped for contributing to the illiteracy of our youth.

Shoes! Glorious shoes!

I have this really cute Banana Republic skirt - full, knee length, gold. I'd post a photo of it for you but then I'd have to go downstairs and get my camera phone and that just seems like a lot of work.

In the winter I've worn it with a black turtleneck sweater and black pumps. But now that it's spring I thought it would make a good transitional piece if I lightened it up with an off-white turtleneck. Only then you can't wear black shoes. You need light-colored shoes. And I looked and looked in my closet but I didn't seem to have any that would work (something not too open as I'm not looking for "summer" here).

So you know what this calls for, don't you? SHOPPING.

And holy gold and silver, Batman! I had NO IDEA that metallics were going to be so big this season! How did this sneak up on me?

(OK, actually, it didn't totally "sneak up" on me, per se, because my friend Amy told me when she left London a year ago that all her friends were wearing gold and silver flats, so I should have known the metallics would get here eventually.)

Now, we have established before that I am hardly a fan of Macy*s shoe department. But given that it's the only department store game in town, I occasionally must succomb. And since I'm technically "not working," I didn't think Big Daddy would want me stepping one needy foot into Joseph (exclusive carrier of Prada in Memphis).

So here's what I found: (sorry for the linkage action but I seem to have lost the ability to post multiple photos in Blogger or even to move photos around to the position that makes the most sense for the content. Feh.)

These shoes are for the gold skirt/white shirt outfit. I didn't go with gold shoes b/c, please. That would just be too, too much. I went with textured brown fabric and gold trim.

One trend I knew we'd be seeing a lot of this spring and summer is the wedge heel, b/c they were really trying to come out of the closet last year, but hadn't quite made the big splash yet. Here is a pair that truly, at that price? we should ALL own. Terribly cute AND....they incorporate both big summer looks, the wedge and the metallic.

I have a pair of espadrilles that I love and I was hoping to maybe pick up another pair of those, but all the ones at Macy*s were closed toe, which? Apparently they're catering to the "I-can't-stand-people-touching-my-feet-so-I-never-get-pedicures" crowd b/c I can't think of one other reason why anyone would desire closed-toe sandals in the summertime.

But then I found these fabric-covered wedge sandals. They are tres comfortable (wedge - remember, I haven't worn heels in more than six months since I last hurt my back) and I like that they're colorful, without being too bright or pastel-y. They'll be equally sassy and smart with skirts, sundresses or capris.

I fell in love with these metallic Steve Madden wedges, but, though they looked hot with black pants, I just couldn't come up with one item I would wear them with in the summertime (and belive me, I tried), so I passed on those.

Now, if the weather would just get out of the 30's so I can enjoy my fun spring finds.


Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Behold my mastery!

A new skill one can master when working from home is the skill of procrastination. Like, for instance, I came to realize that I could work much better if the trash can in my office were emptied. And once I did that, I remembered that the trash in my bathroom is virtually overflowing. And then, gross. How long has it been since this floor was mopped?? And you know what else? Now that I've taken care of all that? This may actually make an interesting blog topic, too.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Where's the No Mommy Left Behind program?

My Kid's math homework totally kicks my ass. I think it's supposed to be pre-algebra and I actually kind of liked algebra (as far as math went) and did okay in it, but I don't know. This is "new math" or something.

So here's the assignment: Problem solving. (Like an IQ test, right?) They give you these charts with two sets of numbers - input (x) and output (y). You're supposed to find the pattern or the "rule" and write it in the format "y=x+3" or "y= -1x" or whatever. Seems easy enough, right? Sure, when the chart looks like this:


See? The rule would be "y=x-3". Rock on.

Then they throw this at me:

-9, -2........-2
+4, -1.......+4
-1, 0............0
-3, -4.........-3
0, +1........+1
+2, +4.......+4

The hell?

Or this one, in which the rule apparently changes half-way through:


My Kid (who is much smarter at math than me anyway and I don't even know why I'm attempting to help him) suggested that there might be two parts to this rule. Even so, I'm still stumped and my opinion of myself and my IQ is totally shot. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Monday, March 20, 2006

Good Night and Good Luck getting through this snoozefest

I was anxious to watch "Good Night and Good Luck" because of all the great press it got and the awards noms and then today I was reading excerpts from this interview in Newsweek with Bob Edwards (formerly of NPR) where he said, "The movie got it absolutely right. They got it so right that I knew what the next line of dialogue was going to be." So cool. So I rented it and watched it today.

And OMG it was boring as shit. And I was a journalism major. And I'm assuming that the Marc Cuban who's listed as an EP is not the same Mark Cuban who owns the Dallas Mavericks or surely it would have been a whole lot more exciting.

Let's talk "Superstitions"

Did you watch Grey's last night? What are your thoughts??

Let's see....where to start.

I used to think Denny was going to die but now that Izzy's dumped Alex I'm not so sure. I like Denny's character but I'm not mad about him like some viewers. I'm not sure why the writers are so intent on making Alex the bad guy, but he sure took it last night, didn't he? I thought it was so realistic that he took his anger and pain out on George, who, let's face it, is an easy target.

I like Dr. Torres. I'm not sure I love her & George together, but she seems like a realistic character and it does my heart good to have another woman on the show besides Bailey who is realistically sized.

I loved the scene where Izzy's trailer park self threatened to kick Christina's Beverly Hills ass if she didn't turn over Burke's lucky scrub cap. That was great writing that really demonstrated the strength of Izzy and her power to love (Denny).

Also enjoyed the banter between Meredith and Christina in the elevator: "The She-Shepherd hot-chocolated me...."

So me & the Chief, we got something in common. Huh. I could see it coming when he entered her room and she introduced her new little sponsoree. I realized then why he sent George and the others away - he was trying to protect his anonymity.

But I just want to go on record as saying that TV is notorious for mis-portraying AA. I mean, they get doctors to check the scripts and make sure they're technically correct but do they ever ask the opinion of someone in recovery?? As much as I *heart* Mary Kay Place and have since The Big Chill and that awesome "They're either married or they're gay..." speech, I find it necessary to point out that no self-respecting member of AA would support a male-female sponsorship relationship. In fact, they have a facetious nickname for that; they call that "13-stepping."

That said, Ollie was a true sponsor. That's what they do: they kick your ass into sobriety. Make you do things you don't want to do. Tell you the hard truths, like, "Better to lose your anonymity than your sobriety." And you've never seen such a crowd in a hospital waiting room as you will when a popular "old-timer" has been admitted. You go through the trenches with someone and they become closer than family. I loved that they had a room full of people for her. And I'm really glad they let her live.

And boy, don't we have an interesting path to go down now with the Richard/Ellis relationship? Not to mention Meredith's propensity for tequila shots.

My last thought: I think next time I change my hair color, I'm going Addison Red.

Loosing my marbles

It's the end of productivity as we know it.

Food as tabloid fodder

Today's edition of Slate has stories on "the dark side of Whole Foods" and "the secrets of Trader Joe's," two grocery stores that I hear are fabulous but I wouldn't know because we don't have them in Memphis and I generally don't grocery shop while I'm out of town. And I doubt TJ's will ever open here since they're so famous for that "Two-Buck Chuck" wine and our laws prevent selling wine in anything but liquor stores. Not that I'm buying wine anymore so it wouldn't really matter to me anyway.

via Pop Candy

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Sweet, Sweet 16

(On a side note, I just noticed during the Bucknell game that our players wear manpris. Maybe the whole 3 Six phenomenon doesn't seem so surprising to the rest of the country now that you see our beloved ball team's fashion icon is this man.)

Today's edition, in which I share ideas I've stolen from someone else

The nice thing about visiting other households is that you pick up new ideas and tricks and recipes that you can try at home. For instance, all of these ideas that I've incorporated this week, I picked up from Susan while we were in St. Louis.

1. The Swiffer Sweep+Vac is the greatest thing to happen to my kitchen floor. I never have to use a broom again.
2. Kids love these "homemade" mini cinnamon rolls. They're so easy, even I can make them.
3. If your kitchen table collects mounds and mounds of clutter and shit like mine does (oh, it's a real problem), then keep it set with cute place settings so there's no room to set things down. I picked up all this (minus the candle) from the Williams Sonoma outlet store for $41.
Still on my list: I'm totally getting one of these rocking coffee makers.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

My in-laws must have been saving these pennies for 50 years

I told My Kid if he rolled all these coins he could have them for his saving account. Grand total: $190.50. I don't know how the hell I'm going to get all of this to the bank. It's 50 pounds worth of coins!

Friday, March 17, 2006

Warning: "V" Spoilers Ahead

If you haven't seen it yet, stop reading now. I mean it. STOP. OK, then, as the web site says, you're just a rebel. V would approve.

So, Melati may get an orang named for her, but me - I get a movie. V for Vendetta came out today and Big Daddy & My Kid went to see it. It's gotten excellent reviews and giggly or not, the girl did agree to shave her head on film so kudos for that. I didn't go see it myself, for a number of reasons, including:
1. I was worn out after the Tiger game and was sleeping soundly when they left for the movie.
2. I'm not really into those action/adventure/violent/whatever movies.
3. The guy in the mask kinda scares me actually.
4. I prefer to watch movies in the comfort of my own home, away from the unwashed masses.

So they come home during the UAB/Kentucky game and start reciting "Remember, remember the fifth of November" to me. Which seems odd, to say the least.

My birthday is November 5th. When I was a kid we had this big book that had a short story or a poem or a nursery rhyme to read to your children every night of the year. If the date was a holiday or some day of remembrance, the reading would have to do with that. The reading for my birthday was:

Remember, remember the fifth of November,
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.

(My sister still emails that poem to me on my birthdays.)

I don't remember if the book explained "Guy Fawkes Day" or if my father (who did the readings to me & my sister) explained it to us. Guy Fawkes tried to blow up Parliament in 1605. On the night that the Gunpowder Plot was foiled (November 5th) bonfires were set to celebrate the safety of the King. Since then, November 5th has become known as "Bonfire Night." The event is commemorated every year with fireworks and burning effigies of Guy Fawkes on a bonfire. Although some people are probably actually celebrating the attempt to blow up Parliament.

Either way, kind of an odd bedtime story for children.

If you go to imdb you'll see that the tagline for the movie is "Remember, remember the fifth of November."

(And here's the spoiler....I guess. I haven't actually seen the movie but I would assume this is this crux of the plotline.)

I asked them, "Why are you saying that?" (the poem)

And Big Daddy said, "That's what the whole movie's about."

Confused, I say, "Guy Fawkes blowing up Parliament? It's about Guy Fawkes Day?"

And Big Daddy said, "It was HIM."

Well, I can see that I'm boring you, Internet. But this sort of thing - when something flashes back from my childhood like that, especially something that reminds me of my deceased father - just gives me the warmest sense of belonging and home and childhood wonder. You never knew I was so sentimental, did you? Well, it's not like the zoo named the panda "Kalisah" or anything, but it's something.

Yeah, I know my house is messy, but whatever. IT SMELLS GOOD.

Last week Big Daddy & I took My Kid and his friend from the basketball team to the mall. We let the pre-teenagers run wild and pick up chicks while we drank coffee and strolled around and spent one-third of our retirement account in a candle store.

I got two candles that are a little sweeter than what I usually go for, but man, have they got my house smelling like springtime. And I got this other one, which was ridiculously expensive (it's a lot smaller than the others), but it smells like yoga and I've been burning it in my office and it's so wonderful you can even smell it in there the next day. I can't find online the one that Big Daddy got for his office; it's this one in cinnamon cappuccino. It's sitting on his desk but he hasn't actually burned it yet. I imagine it will smell like Starbucks in there when he does.

From what I'm reading

“It’s a bore, but the answer is good things only happen to you if you’re good. Good? Honest is more what I mean. Not law-type honest – I’d rob a grave, I’d steal two-bits off a dead man’s eyes if I thought it would contribute to the day’s enjoyment – but unto-thyself-type honest. Be anything but a coward, a pretender, an emotional crook, a whore: I’d rather have cancer than a dishonest heart.”

Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Go Tigers

(click to embiggen and see my picks, half of which are already wrong.)

Win it all.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

You know what's gross?

When you've had a nice, heavy piece of wood furniture for, oh, say....about a year, and one day while propping your feet up underneath it your pants leg kind of sticks to the bottom of it, so you reach down under there and feel around and it feels like putty, so you lean over and look under this piece of not-cheap-even-though-it-was-a-floor-model furniture and there is gum stuck to it.

This means that either 1) My Kid is so slovenly and disrepectful that he's now slapping gum onto our furniture (doubtful) or 2) it was there when they delivered it, which just....ewww.

Two actresses that I don't like anymore now that I've seen them on talk shows

Actually, one actress I don't like anymore and one actress I never really liked that much to begin with:

1. Natalie Portman
2. Jennifer Garner

And here's why: I saw Natalie on The Daily Show and I saw Jennifer on a re-run of Ellen (she was still pregnant) and they both giggled like drunk schoolgirls through their entire interviews. How annoying.

I think that perhaps Natalie had to pretend to be inane because she was always smarter than all the boys and after a while it just stuck. Jennifer, well I think she's just stupid.

Now seriously. Don't you want to nibble those cheeks just a little bit?

The photos from our trip to St. Louis are up on flickr. I'm starting to realize that I'm a pretty crappy photographer with that stupid little credit card-sized digital camera we have. Every photo is either blurry or dark. It's not my fault really - the blur is because there is such a delay on the shutter and let's face it - kids don't hold still that long - and the darkness is because there's no flash. Feh.

Go here to see all the trip photos.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Take a look at this image and tell me what you see

I'll give you a hint: it has to do with that tiiiiiny little number next to the team "Memphis" at the top. Do you see it? YES! IT'S A ONE!!! MEMPHIS TIGERS....NUMBER ONE SEED!

This is the first time ever in the history of our school. Even in 1984-85 when we went to the Final Four we were a two-seed. Anyway, that was the year before I moved to Memphis so I don't even count that far back.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Hello from the S-T-L

I've been trying to post from Susan's house for two days now.....little did I know that blogger doesn't work in that version of Netscape. Ah well....I'm here now.

So we made it here with minimal problems. Except that I missed my exit. Twice. And the trip took about an hour and a half longer than it should have. Apparently God forgot my inner compass when he made me. Remember that scene in "The Pacifier" when Vin Diesel's driving scared the kid so bad that when he stopped the car she jumped out and screamed "LAND!!!" and kissed the ground? That's pretty much how My Kid reacted when we FINALLY got here.

I always considered Memphis to St. Louis an "easy" drive, but maybe I've mostly done it at night? Because here are three things I learned while driving it this time:
1. There is not a fucking thing to look at on the way.
2. You can get a speed metal station on the radio, but no top 40.
3. Two words: Dead. Animals.

Here's a list of all the dead animals we saw on the side of the road:
1. Raccoon
2. Rabbit
3. Possum
4. Skunks (2)
5. Coyote
6. Cow

OK, we're not really sure the cow was dead. And it wasn't on the side of the road either, it was out in the pasture with the other cows. But, while they were all standing around eating grass and chewing their cud, this one cow was laying down. On its side. With its head on the ground, too. So we're calling it dead.

We've had a great time with Susan and her family. Her house is gorgeous and I'm totally going to have to post some photos of it when I get back. Her kids are great and I'm totally in love with her little girl and I'm packing her in my suitcase and taking her home with me if I don't dip her in chocolate and eat her up before then. The one thing I have to adjust to is the NOISE LEVEL in a house full of kids. And in the car? They want their little Jessie McCartney and Click 5 tween pop-rock CDs on and they're all playing hand-held video games and talking and hollering at each other and Susan & I are trying to talk above it all and sorry, Carmen, but I don't think I can ever come visit you.

More later....and lots of photos to come once I get home.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

I am o-u-t outta here

We are officially on Spring Break in the Overdressed house, and My Kid and I are heading up to St. Louis for a couple days. We're going to stay with the girl who was my roommate before I was married and her husband & three kids (11, 8 and 3).

So this morning I tell My Kid to pack "2 pairs of pants and 2 pairs of shorts." So, he says, four? I need four? And so I repeat, "2 pairs of pants and 2 pairs of shorts." And guess what he brings me? One pair of pants, one pair of shorts, and one pair of sweatpants. Oy to the vey.

Then after I get everything packed, I realize that we forgot our swimsuits, b/c our friends have a hot tub built into their deck! Yea! So I holler, "Kid! I need your swimsuit!" "OK," he says, "but I don't know where it is!" So I walk into his room to look for it myself and guess where it is? In the drawer. The one with his shorts and pants. The one that he goes in every single day of his life. *Sigh*

Anyway....back Tuesday. See ya then.

PS - does anyone know the 80s song that the title of this post came from? I've said it for years but I do not remember the song. I think it's the same one where the guy says, "Huh. Do I want to go OUT?"

Friday, March 10, 2006

I love Benefit make up so much that I'm thinking about MARRYING IT.

I popped into Macy*s this afternoon to pick up those couple of Benefit pieces that I was so desperately needing - remember, the Boi-ing concealer and High Beam highlighter. And this young girl starts helping me, and she's really good. I mean, she's gooooood.

She pulls out the High Beam I want and puts it on the counter. Then, before we even start talking about which shade of concealer I need, she asks, "Have you tried the dallas? It is soooo popular that we've been out of it in Memphis for WEEKS!" and she starts brushing it on my face in order to give me the most amazing sun-kissed glow!

And while I'm admiring my new healthy radiance in the mirror, she says, "Have you ever worn Bad gal lash? It's false eyelashes in a bottle!" So while I try that on - which hello? if I buy this I can totally throw away my eyelash curler - she tells me about all the awards this product's won. So, I'm already debating over the dallas (which, if you'll remember I had been contemplating anyway) and OK, the mascara is now a given what with my newly long and so not clumpy lashes.

AND THEN she pulls out High brow and blends it underneath my brows and suddenly my eyes appear brighter! And younger! And lifted! And all the little eyebrow stubble underneath them is covered, too. Bonus!

She must stop.

Do you think that she looks at a face and analyzes what its needs are that quickly? Or do you think that the products are just so good that it doesn't really matter what she smears on a customer's face, it's gonna be an improvement no matter what?

Now, she says, about that concealer. Which one did you want? It goes without saying that OF COURSE I did not walk out with the product that I'd come in for. She put the Boi-ing under my left eye and Lyin eyes (It also contains moisturizers!) on the right. And whoo-boy could you see a difference.

So, ultimately, I decided on the dallas, the Bad gal lash and the Lyin eyes (and she threw in a nice sample of Dear john, too!). AND....guess how much it cost me? NO! Lower! 60 bucks! That is so reasonable for good cosmetics. If you bought similar products at Chanel it would easily be $100.

So excuse me now. I'm going to go wash my face so I can re-apply my new make-up all over again.

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Thursday, March 09, 2006

Local weathermen, or as I like to call them, professional alarmists

Maybe it's just me, but when you're warning your viewers that they are in the direct path of a deadly tornado, it is not the time to tout your superior weather forecasting tools and abilities. I mean, how many times can the guy say "million watts of power" during one emergency weather report? Personally, it does not make me feel safer to know that I'm watching the station with the most accurate radar capabilities. You want to make me feel better? Put "As the World Turns" back on.

Spring is here

I can tell by the violent thunderstorms and tornado and hail warnings that are rolling into the area today. Also? The spring make-up circulars in the mail box.

So far, I'm very excited by the Bobbi Brown Pink Sugar line. It's just so....spring-y. The Pink Face Palette looks like a pretty good deal, no? And the new Lip Sheers are going to be great for summer. I want four.

Then I also received the Benefit catalog which is always so fun! I managed to whittle that list down to two things that I NEED: Boi-ing ("the world's best concealer!") and High Beam which I'm convinced it going to give me glowy, SJP skin. And I love the dandelion so much that I think I might have to try out the new dallas for summer, maybe.

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Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Further proof that staying at home is turning me into June Cleaver

I baked a pie today. I did. It's apple and I did it all myself from start to finish. Well, was a frozen crust and canned pie filling, but that crumb topping? I made that crumb topping from scratch, bay-bee.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

What is wrong with this photo of Madonna?

Whitney Matheson says she looks like an alien and I couldn't agree more. Is her eye really that big?

All Hail Memphis Music

Geese Aplenty is such a funny writer and he had a great Oscar write-up, including these notes on Memphis' Three 6 Mafia in which he even has a dig at Celine Dion, my least favorite Ruth Buzzy-look alike:

Thank God for “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp.” I grant you, it’s no feminist manifesto. But usually the nominees for best songs are sung by some big-nosed Canadian for a Jim Cameron movie, or some bald nightmare from the ‘80s doing a Disney ballad. At least this song has a little juice.

Wait, it has too much juice for the Oscars. They’ve swapped out the word “bitches”: “You’ll have a whole lot of witches jumping ship.” Suddenly it’s a song about Harry Potter. Oh well, at least it won.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Five Worst Oscar Moments

1. Dancers acting out the plot of the movies while their songs were performed.
2. Lauren Bacall confused and unable to read the teleprompter.
3. Charlize's dress with that HUGE bow on the shoulder.
4. Dolly Parton's lips are bigger than her nose.
5. Pregnant women/new mommies showing off deep cleavage when we all know it's really milk-filled boobs.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Top 5 Oscar Moments

1. Three 6 Mafia WIN
2. Crash upset for Best Picture
3. George Clooney's acceptance speech for Supporting Actor
4. Jon Stewart: "For those of you keeping track at home, that's Martin Scorsese, zero Oscars; Three 6 Mafia, one."
5. Political ads for Best Actress category (Did that sound like Stephen Colbert to you?)

Friday, March 03, 2006

Be patient

As you can see, I made a little change. It was a bit nerve-wracking, but I think I took all the necessary precautions so that I wouldn't lose my ass.

But I'm tweaking, so be patient with me. Like for instance, WHERE THE HELL ARE MY COMMENTS????

OK, comments are back. But Blogger has made great improvements to their comments since I started blogging (like, it used to be that you had to register w/ Blogger just to leave a comment & I figured I'd get more readers/commenters if I went with something else). So I think I'm going to switch back from Haloscan to Blogger comments. Which is to say that all my old comments (from Haloscan) are not going to be here. Not that I didn't cherish them. But they're gone now. Hope that doesn't hurt anyone's feelings.

Five male singers whose voices make me melt

1. Andrea Bocelli
2. Josh Groban
3. James Blunt
4. Harry Connick Jr.
5. Rob Thomas

I have a restaurant recommendation for my Memphis readers

I know all of y'all don't live out in the 'burbs like I do

(note to my out-of-town readers: Yes, I live about 10 miles from where Dooce grew up. It's my claim to blogging fame.)

but if you're ever out this way

(note to Midtowners: No, you don't have to get your passport stamped when you travel outside the 240 loop.)

there is this awesome Mexican deli called Las Tortugas Deli Mexicana on Germantown Road in a little strip mall just south of the Wolf River by the Waffle House. Across from the Chick-Fil-A.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "A Mexican deli in a strip mall? Ri-hiiight." But seriously. Y. U. M.

Let me tell you the story.

Pepe grew up on the west coast of Mexico. When he moved to the states, the one thing he really missed from home were the roadside delis that served fresh tacos and sandwiches. When he traveled home to visit, he returned to Memphis missing those delis terribly. So he finally decided to open one of his own. Right here. In Memphis. Authentic, fresh, Mexican tacos and sandwiches.

And they are To Die For.

Pepe doesn't order food and supplies for his deli. He goes out to the fresh markets every day and buys what is freshest that day - so the menu changes slightly. For instance, the fish may be red snapper or it might be tilapia, whichever is fresh that day.

The sandwiches are called tortugas which means "turtles" in Spanish, because the bread is shaped like the shell of a turtle. The menu consists of a list of items that can be ordered as sandwiches (tortugas) or tacos (4 small soft tacos).

The first time I ate there I was with a group of people from work. I had the fish tacos. Fresh fish grilled with onions, topped with cilantro and fresh avocado slices. It was orgasmic. Seriously. One of the girls with us had the fish in the sandwich. When she finished she said, "That may have been the best sandwich I've ever eaten in my life."

I'm so happy with the fish tacos (shut up. Don't be 12.) that I order the same thing every time I go. But I have also had, and can recommend, the chicken flautas appetizer and the aguas frescas, which are kind of like smoothies, but they're 100% fresh fruit - like mango and watermelon. I understand they also make authentic mole sauce from an ancient Aztec recipe (with chocolate) but I haven't tried it yet. The tortugas and tacos come with these thick, salty homemade tortilla chips and salsa de aguacate tayde (avocado-based spicy green sauce).

Pepe is there every day, manning the grill, and his son - whose name I do not know, but listen girls: he is HOT - runs the register. He can tell you all about the food and answer any questions you might have.

It's open for lunch and dinner, but I've only just had lunch there and it is packed every time I go in. It's one of those few places in town (along with Automatic Slim's and McEwen's, which are both all the way the hell downtown) where you can pretend like you're not in Memphis. In this case, just close your eyes and smell the smells and you can totally convince yourself that you're actually in....San Diego!

So I've done a pretty good job of emulating Melati in how she's always eating great food in fun places and talking about it on her blog, no? Well, try it out and let me know how much you love it!

Things you discover when you no longer go to work

My god, what has happened to the Today show?

I know that the 8 o'clock hour has always been for the "soft news." But now! Now, they've gone too far. Now, they've gone and hired the after-8 a.m. MUSIC EDITOR.

Every. Single. Report after 8 follows this repetitive formula:

(some themed music)
Katie reads the lead to some emotionless b-roll
(Switch to second song of related interest)
Katie reads second sentence that generally starts with "But..."
(Yet another theme-realted song)
Sound bite from applicable personae
ad nauseum for the entire report until finally the music stops and Katie interviews a topical expert in the studio (without music).

For example, during the report on whether teens are getting enough sleep, they started out with "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" and segued into Billy Joel's "Pressure." It just went downhill from there. During the insomnia report, of course they made great use of that song, "Last night, I didn't get to sleep at, no"

It's completely appalling. Really.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Five foods I've never tried because they simply don't appeal to me

1. McGriddles breakfast sandwiches
2. Spicy tuna rolls
3. Hot Pockets
4. Buffalo wings
5. McRib sandwich (dude, it's meat pressed into the shape of bones!)

Wednesday, March 01, 2006



(With thanks to everyone on my personal Help Desk and special thanks to Cristina who spelled it all for me in an easy, step-by-step manner that I could follow and how much do I love the photo on her site anyway???)

Oscar Update

I have an update to my Oscar movie review. I've now seen Walk the Line (FINALLY. Sheesh.), Pride and Prejudice and Junebug.

It's been a couple weeks since I saw Junebug so I don't really remember enough details to discuss it thoughtfully. I can say that it was a good study in a middle class American family's life and Amy Adams was dead-on charming as the overly optimistic young mother-to-be. And Ryan from The OC was quite believable as the gruff brother in the trucker hat who only relaxed around his work buddies.

Walk was fabulous. I got into a conversation with the guy at Blockbuster this morning on how "disturbing" this film is. He said that the Cash daughter went to the screening and walked out because it upset her so. And I can see that. From personal experience, I can imagine that watching a parent's active addiction on the big screen must be upsetting. But then he said that he thought Walk was more disturbing than Million Dollar Baby and I'm all, "Wha...?" No way. Maybe we're just more used to watching addiction than euthanasia or something.

Casting and Direction
It took me a while to get used to Phoenix's singing voice, which wasn't as deep as Johnny Cash's - but then again, whose is? And I have to admire the fact that the producers didn't overuse his well-known songs, such as "Ring of Fire" and the title track.

Reese was awesome. She's so gonna win that trophy. Can't say much more than that.

Pride was better than I expected. The thing is, Pride is my favorite book. I love it so much. And I liked the Colin Firth version. And I just wasn't feeling Keira Knightly as Lizzie. But when it came out on DVD I decided to give her a try. And it was OK. I actually liked some of her Lizzie. Two things that I didn't care for was 1) the way she wrinkled up her nose when she laughed and 2) the way her collarbones were sticking out of her dress like two shelving units but I guess that's par for the course in Hollywood these days.

Casting and Direction
Little Jena Malone as the giggly, boy-crazy little sister was refreshing. And Donald Sutherland and Brenda Blethyn played nice Mr. & Mrs. Bennetts (respectively). Dame Judi Dench - fabulous as the bitchy Lady Catherine de Bourg. And the guy playing the weaselly Mr. Collins nailed that part.

Overall, it was probably Mr. Darcy that I liked the least. You know, and you gotta have the right Mr. Darcy. But I never quite made up my mind about this one in particular. Then again, I guess if you can't quite decide if he's too cold or just sexy enough, then you've nailed the classic character of Mr. Darcy.

You gotta get Junebug just for Amy Adam's performance.
Definitely rent Walk the Line. Buy it even. Good stuff there.
Pride & Prejudice is worth the rent. And the two hours to watch it.

I just read High Fidelty so you're probably going to be seeing a lot of these

Top 5 Most Annoying Female Singers:

1. Celine Dion
2. Mariah Carey
3. Jessica Simpson
4. Britney Spears
5. Shakira

The photo's there just can't see it.

I think at one point I fiddled around with my template code and took out the part that put my profile at the top of my sidebar. So now I just have to figure out what the code is that puts it back. Heh.