Sunday, October 29, 2006

Luckily, I don't have that many readers anyway

Because I'm about to take what will probably be a very unpopular stance.

I guess there's some controversy that's got the blogosphere up in arms. There's this woman who has one of those sites where she says mean hateful things about other people in a desperate and rather unsuccessful attempt to be funny. Is it a slambook? I don't know. One of the posts about this issue used that word a few times but I'm unfamiliar with what those are exactly. Anyway, I'm not going to link to this woman's site because I don't want to add to the controversy by: 1) sending people to her site and thus increasing her stats; or 2) possibly linking my own site to the fray.

But I will tell you what it's all about.

Recently, this woman has taken to making digs at popular bloggers by taking photos of their children (that they have innocently posted to their own sites, as so many of us do) and photoshopping them into what she is calling "parodies." The one that seems to have gotten everyone all distraught this week is in reference to a post that Sweetney wrote about how upsetting it was to take her 4-y-o daughter to preschool and watch the other children react overwhelmingly to the popular girl enter the room while seemingly ignoring her own child.

You can read the original post here.

So then this mean woman photoshopped a picture of Sweetney's daughter and - it's so stupid and not funny that I can't really figure it out - either made fun of the girl's hair, or insinuated that she was developmentally disabled.

I'll save you the trouble of searching for it yourself:

The post read: "Hey Sweetney, want to know why your daughter isn't the most popular girl in class? I think I might have some idea:

Well obviously this hurt Sweetney's feelings and she responded with this short but angry post. And then Amalah - who I adore and read regularly - backed her up with this ranting and irate post. And I've been thinking about it ever since.

So now that you've got all the background, let me get on with my heartless and unfeeling opinion on the matter.

I've been a mother a lot longer than either of these girls, so I probably understand some things that they haven't quite internalized yet. One of these things, which has nothing to do with the internet but can surely be applied to this situation, is that NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LOVE YOUR CHILD AS MUCH AS YOU DO. Part of what we have to teach our children is how to thicken their skin to these people who may do or say mean things about them, and as we do this, we thicken our own skin against such attacks on those who we love more than life itself.

I'm not defending this woman or her site. I think it's mean, hateful, cruel and wrong. I do not think that she has a "right" to do this. I just think you're living in your own personal Wonderland if you don't expect things like this to happen.

Did Sweetney ask for this? Does it serve her right? Certainly not. But did she make it possible? Yes, in fact she did. Her web site did not get popular all on its own. She put her life out there and she posted photos of her child and she talked openly about the girl's social issues. She has to know that there are bullies out there who are going to take advantage of that. It's not right, but it's reality.

Just like it's not "right" that we make fun of celebrity babies, it is the society in which we live. If you jump up and down on Oprah's couch, people are going to say that your baby looks like she's wearing a toupee.

Like it or not, you've put yourself out there. I love Dooce - read her, forward her, quote her - but I don't buy her "I'm just doing this to have a record for my child when she's older" argument. Go read her site. She's not just documenting her daughter's childhood, she's obviously writing to entertain us. She does national media interviews promoting her site. It's a new media world and she is a celebrity in it.

So go ahead, really let me have it now.* Look, I understand where Sweetney & Amalah are coming from. I remember when My Kid was a toddler, and it used to kill me to think of anyone even thinking unkind thoughts about my baby. I get it. But you're going to have to teach your children to deal with bullies better than the example you've set this week.

* bonus points if you can name the movie quote!

Saturday, October 28, 2006

I need your help with my Halloween costume

Do any of you know anything about false eyelashes? Specifically, I need to know: are you supposed to glue them on before you apply your eye make-up or after?


Friday, October 20, 2006

Friday Night Plight

DATELINE: SOFA, L.R. (October 20, 2006) -- I have lots of options this week as I veg out on the sofa. I recorded but didn't have time to watch Studio 60, Grey's, and The Office. Also, my kind-hearted husband got tired of listening to me bitch and so he ordered Showtime AND Showtime OnDemand so I can catch up on all the episodes of Weeds. Big Daddy's gone to see that Iwo Jima movie with his dad, and the Kid is at the haunted corn maze with his girlfriend and a group of their friends, so I've got the house to myself and some much-needed peace and quiet.

This week has been particularly difficult for me. We launched our web site at 5 a.m. Tuesday morning, and that's a pretty big chunk of my project, so it equaled several extra hours on this week's timesheet. For the most part, I've enjoyed being back at the old job - there are a lot of differences this time. For one thing, I had spent eight years in the Communications Department. Hell, I WAS the Communications Department. But this project is such a monster that they just don't want to support it down there, so the communications role has been moved up to the business team. Different department, different floor, completely different group of co-workers. That part of it's been pretty good. Except for the fact that my cube is by the elevators which can get pretty loud and disruptive (especially around the lunch hour), these changes have all been improvements.

Another difference has been that, as a consultant, I haven't had to put up with a lot of the politics and bullshit that go on in places of employment. But this week, a lot of things seemed to get to me. Or maybe I let a lot of things get to me? I took things personally. I became too personally invested in my work. And it exhausted me. Completely and totally exhausted me. I was so tired today, I just didn't even have the energy to talk. I broke down into tears getting ready for work this morning b/c I just didn't see how I would have the energy to get through the day.

Right now I'm watching Steel Magnolias on Lifetime, and I don't even have the energy to say the lines out loud.

One of the best parts about returning is getting back my friend Mary who was always my support system there. We were each other's support system. This week when I was in her office, bitching and complaining bitterly about this other consultant that we have to work with who is a complete ass and a real bane of our existence, a man whose complete lack of sensitivity and common courtesy we were at that moment about to have to deal with (via email), I saw that Mary had written "State the facts." on her whiteboard. Underneath that, I added: "Do not engage in character assassination." Rules to Work By.

Next week we shall also attempt to include: "Do not become personally invested in issues controlled by others." I can't take another week like this. It's just too exhausting.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

What I'm Watching

Amazing Race
After hearing for years what a great show this is, My Kid & I started watching it last year. I really enjoy this show. I always root for the underdogs (I loved that old couple last season.); I never like the cheerleader/barbie doll/beauty queen teams. And I can't stand that guy Peter who is such a twat to everyone even his girlfriend who's trying to keep up with him on a blown-out hydraulic knee.

Brothers & Sisters
I think this show has just been on three times - I watched the first one and kind of liked it OK, even though the parental units reminded me a little too much of Steel Magnolias, but then they killed off Tom Skerritt - one of my favorite actors - in the series premiere, and I wasn't sure I wanted to get into a Norma Rae/Ally McBeal series. The second ep I had on but I was busy with something else so I didn't really get to watch it. This week I'm giving it another chance. We'll see. I'm having a heard time keeping the male characters straight b/c they all look the same to me.

Studio 60
I believe I may have mentioned a time or two that Bradley Whitford is my pretend boyfriend? But let's move on. I love this show, but it does have one downfall: the jokes aren't funny. The entire premise of the show is how talented they all are - Matt as the writer and Harriet as the comedian etc. etc. But THE JOKES AREN'T FUNNY. Now Aaron Sorkin is a very talented writer. The scripts are top-notch. But he's not a comedy writer. The writing team on this show desperately needs a comedy writer. To write the jokes. Because we can only give you so much leeway. Still, gets my vote for best new show on TV.

I may have also mentioned once or twice that I have a little crush on Hugh Laurie, too. This show remains my pick for best show on TV. Great stories, good writing, intriguing characters. If you're not watching this show b/c you don't like medical dramas, then you're doing yourself a supreme injustice.

Gilmore Girls
See, this is kind of a convoluted story. Let me go back a bit to seasons prior to this one: Memphis never had a WB network. We had a UPN station that ran WB shows at odd hours. Most of the Gilmore Girls eps I've seen I watched on ABC Family, which means I've seen pretty much everything except last season. Now that UPN and WB have merged into the CW, we're getting all the shows - the ones that are left anyway - as they were meant to be: in primetime. So let's review: A) I haven't even seen Season 6 yet, but I've read enough about it to know what happened. B) There's the whole issue of the writers leaving and blah blah blah. I know all the things that are wrong with this show; it's still my guilty pleasure. I record it since it comes on at the same time as House and then I watch it after work on Friday in my veg-out-on-the-sofa-in-my-PJs session.

Friday Night Lights
I tried to watch this show once, because I just finished the book on which the movie was based. But I couldn't stand all that shakey camera work and plus I keep forgetting what night it's on because, silly me, I always expect it to be Friday.

The Office
The first time I watched this show I saw the episode with the Diversity Training. I laughed until I cried and I thought it must have been the funniest show ever in the history of TV. Last week's episode, with the Grief Counseling, goes down in the books as my second-favorite episode. Once again (after a bit of a slow start this season), I laughed til I cried: "And then my cousin, Mufasa, got trampled by a herd of wildebeest..."

Gray's Anatomy
I still like this show, even though I no longer consider myself a fanatic. I take it with a grain of salt and don't invest too much in the storylines. I still think this the show has good writing (when it doesn't sell out, which it occasionally does) and I still love Christina and George and Burke and Callie and I really love Bailey & Addison. But I don't really care if Mer & Der get together or not. I usually record this show and watch it on the weekend, too.

Shows I love but have to rent on DVD b/c I don't have Showtime:
I am crazy about this show. Crazy, mad about, in love with and hooked on. I have such a crush on that Nancy Pants. I loved how last season ended when she finally let herself get involved with that cute guy and then in the middle of the night at his house she puts on his shirt and it says DEA. God that was good. I hope the season is over soon so it will hurry up and come out on DVD!!!! Because I hate waiting.

The L Word
It seems like it's been for. ever. since season 2 came out on DVD. I almost stopped caring about the characters. But I'm sure when season 3 finally FINALLY comes out I will rent it and watch the entire thing in one weekend and I will love those girls again. I heard Dana got breast cancer and died this year.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Saturday: A Three-Act Play


I rented the movie "Prairie Home Companion" b/c I love all those NPR radio shows - Car Talk, Whad'ya Know, Says You. I guess I was hoping it'd be a film version of the radio show. It was not.

It was weird. That's what it was.

For one thing, Garrison Keiler played....himself. And then one of the characters on the radio show - Guy Noir, Private Eye - was an actual real character in the movie. In the movie, he was an ex-private eye working security for the radio show. ??? So that was kind of confusing. And - without giving too much away here - one of the other main characters was THE ANGEL OF DEATH and a lot of people died in the movie. See? Weird. Not at all what I expected. As a matter of fact, I really didn't get that movie at all.


This morning I got my nails done in my standard fall color, Black Tie Optional. I love it so. I've heard OPI has discontinued it, which is disappointing since it is such a perfect purpley-black eggplant loveliness.

Turns out all these seasons I've been ahead of the style trend, now that black nails are all the rage. (Note: NYT reports that Channel plans to ship a new batch of Black Satin on Monday morning!) *Ahem* I quote:

"The black nail polish that is selling so well today is hardly the dark enamel worn by the freaky girl at the back of your English lit class. Unlike the Goth look, which resembles fingers dipped in soot, the new black is shinier, richer and deeper, with undertones of purple, silver or red. The new blacks appear to be growing in popularity with young professional women who are daring enough to wear it to work, and it is the epitome of chic for night events."


This evening we were bored, so we hopped into the Benzo and drove out to Summerville, Tennessee which means absolutely nothing to you, I'm sure. You might say, "Oh. What's in Summerville, Tennessee?" and I would say, "A Dollar General store and a charming town square" and that's all I would know to tell you. I don't even know if I'm spelling it right.

On the way back, we stopped in Oakland, Tennessee for dinner at Gus's World Famous Fried Chicken. (They can say that, too, since Food Network, USA Today and others have proclaimed it some of the best chicken in America.) It was so good I wanted to eat the bones.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Movie titles suck

Most of them are so un-memorable. When Big Daddy comes in from Blockbuster and I ask, "What'd you get?" he tells me, and the titles mean absolutely nothing to me. For example:

1. Can you name the last movie Antonio Banderas made - the one with the kids and the dancing?

2. What was the movie "Prime" about?

3. For that matter, who was in it?

4. Who's in the movie "The Matador"?

5. Who stars in "Firewall"?

6. Jennifer Aniston made four movies in 05-06. Name two of them.

7. What's the name of the film starring Robert Redford, Morgan Freeman and Jennifer Lopez?

8. Name the new movie with Ashton Kutcher & Kevin Costner about the Coast Guard.

9. Name that hot new movie with the A-list ensemble cast - Nicholson, DiCaprio, Sheen (Martin, not Charlie), Damon, Marky Mark...

10. Who was the headliner in "The Sentinel"?

No fair looking the answers up online....that defeats the purpose of the test. I'm not asking for you to post the answers in the comments - there's no point really. I just want to know if you honestly know these film titles or if it's just that my short-term memory is for shit b/c I just created the list and I already can't remember the names of any of them.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

More Photos

And yes, Broad, I know I am one lucky bitch.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Happy Birthday to me

It's not actually until next month, but we started the celebration early.

Exhibit A:

(Yes, it's mine.)

Sunday, October 01, 2006

How to tell you're the parent of a teenager: Part Deux - Never Say Never

#5. You defend his constant IM'ing to your friend: "Well, at least I KNOW he's not on MySpace or any of that," only to find out the very next day that he, in fact, has TWO MySpace pages.