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And her biggest fault is she's a PERFECTIONIST!

Whenever someone new starts working in this department, one of the managers sends out a little getting-to-know-you email with a photo and some fun facts! about the new person. I personally believe that you can tell a lot about a person by the answers they give on these initial surveys.

For instance, here is the email we received on a new girl today:

Hometown: West Palm Beach
Previous job: Universal Cheerleaders Association
Three words to describe yourself: Passionate, Energetic, Committed
Favorite hobby: Working Out
Last book that you read: Winning by Jack Welch
Pet peeve: Not trying your hardest
What motivates you? Success
What are you most proud of? My two children

I am not making any of this up. I know - if I had, it'd be HILARIOUS, right? Instead it's just sad. Sad, sad. Honey, you got the job already. You can knock off the rehearsed answers now.

Oh GOD. What worries me most is that she might actually believe it.

People actually read motivational/success books? Wow.

What were your questionaire answers?

well, I didn't have one, b/c I'm not actually an EMPLOYEE. I'm just a CONSULTANT who happens to have a desk and a laptop and an email account here.

If I DID do one, it would probably look like this:

Hometown: Memphis for 20+ years
Previous job: Funny story that. I'm actually DOING my previous job RIGHT NOW!!
Three words to describe yourself: Short. Self-absorbed. Fashion-conscious.
Favorite hobby: Blogging.
Last book that you read: Magical Thinking: True Stories by Augusten Burroughs
Pet peeve: People talking behind me in movie theaters.
What motivates you? Monetary reward. Which inevitably leads to shopping.
What are you most proud of? Really great shoe buys.

See, now if you were the "New Girl" where I worked and I received an e-mail describing you (Kalisah) like that, I'd be humoured and pleasantly intrigued, and I'd mosey by your desk to introduce myself. The "real" New Girl in your post? Sooooo trying too hard and still hasn't figured out how to relate to people. I feel kind of sorry for her two kids.

Hometown: Brooklyn, NY
Previous Job: Publishing Slob
Three Words to describe yourself: procrastinator, shopper,
Favorite Hobby: lounging on sofa watching old movies
What motivates you: Dunno, whats 'Motivates' mean?
What are you most proud of: I have never been featured on an episode of COPS.

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