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The Most Disturbing Xmas Gift

Yesterday I received an Xmas card with a return address I didn't recognize. It was addressed to Kalisah Maidenname. Which was kind of weird.

I opened it up. It was a rather cheap-looking card w/ snowmen on the front. Inside, it was signed "The Relief Society* Presidency" and three names I did not recognize.

OK, this is bothersome on so many levels.

First, I haven't stepped foot in a Mormon church since....mmm, 1985? So it's a little scary that they seem to be coming after me now after all this time.

Secondly, they knew my exact mailing address [where I've lived for 5 years], but didn't know my married name [which I've had for nearly 14 years]. Perhaps - and this thought just occurred to me - maybe they're refusing to recognize my union since I married outside the covenant.

Third, don't you think it's odd that a church society would send a Christmas card with snowmen on it and completely lacking in any religious holiday message whatsoever? There are a trio of snowmen on the front - maybe they're supposed to represent the three women who signed the card? I won't even get into the whole philosophical argument about the leaders of the women's society being represented by three snowMEN, as therein lies one of the major faults of LDS dogma.

After much deliberation, I've decided that the reason for the card must absolutely be one of the following:
1. My mom is getting ready to be rebaptized into the Mormon church.
2. The new VP at work is Mormon.
3. I just found out we have HBO and started watching "Big Love."

*The Relief Society is the women's group of the Mormon church.

Do do do do (I can't think of a more creative way to illustrate the song from the Twilight Zone, sorry.)

I got a two page, handwritten letter encouraging me to find Christ about a year ago addressed to me (maiden name) and my bestest friend from my hometown (who lived in another state at the time). Bizarre!

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