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Ready for take-off

Was allowed to board first as I was sitting in seat 2C, which is FIRST CLASS. Not really sure how that happened, as I don’t recall being asked if I wished to upgrade when I chose this seat online, but whatev. I’m sure that Northwest airlines just recognized a celeb in their mist when they saw one and made the necessary seat assignments.

I always wondered why a first class passenger would want to board first, only to have all those people pushing passed them and knocking them in the knee with their carry-on luggage. But now I know why: you have time to suck down a Bloody Mary AND use the restroom before the plane is even entirely loaded.

Plus, how much fun is it to sit in your big fat wide seat with your Prada pumps propped up on the foot rest, sipping your cocktail and giving the unwashed masses disdainful looks? It is SO MUCH FUN.

And, umm…isn’t it customary to tip a flight attendant in first class? I should think it would be. Hell, I tip anybody that’s bringing me FREE DRINKS. But this guy acted like I’d signed over my first born child. Jeez Louise, it was five bucks. Get a grip. Freak.