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I had the bikini wax FROM HELL today

If that makes you uncomfortable then read no further. Well, no. Scroll down to the end of the post for the joke. The joke is worth it.

So here's a hint to those of you thinking to skip your next bikini wax: DON'T. Oh my freaking god, that shit HURTS when it's long. Seriously. That was the most painful shit ever in the history of my Brazilian wax/root canal/giving birth history. For real. I screamed. I cried. I begged her to stop. And bless her heart, the woman worked up one hell of a sweat.

I dropped her a big tip and ran off to the nearest bar for multiple shots of tequila.

Where I met Moses, an old black man who told me about this funeral he'd just attended. The man had insisted on being buried with all of his money. At the funeral, Moses spotted the wife and asked her, "How can you be so happy? You're burying your husband, and you're burying all your money along with him!"

She smiled and said, "Yes, that's true."

He said, "How can you be so happy then? You have no husband and you have no money??"

And she said, "Yes, I buried him with all his money. But I WROTE HIM A CHECK."