Open letters to be delivered to Liberty Bowl Stadium
Dear Memphis Tigers,
Thank you for not getting stomped all over by Louisfreakingville tonight. You're really hanging in there. I love you guys. Keep it up.
Love,
Big Fan
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Dear Tiger Fans Sitting in our Section,
Yes, we left at half time. It was late - almost 9 p.m. on a school night. That was a long-ass first half. Over two hours, and more than 700 yards. Sheesh. That should be enough for anyone. So take our bleacher seats if you want 'em.
Til next week,
Really Attractive Family of Three
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Dear ESPN2 Camera Guy on the Crane,
Thank you for putting My Kid and his homemade sign on TV. You made his night.
Sincerely,
Proud Mom
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Dear Guy Sitting Next to Me,
Yes, it's chilly out. It's football weather. But its 55 degrees; that's hardly freezing. I really don't think the big old quilted down coat was necessary. I was sitting next to the Michelin Man.
Regards,
Lady to your Right
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Dear Field Judge,
You suck. I have never in my life seen such shitty officiating. You called pass interference on our player and he was at least ten yards away from the guy that fell down. And when the Cardinal tripped our guy? Yeah, no flag. And BTW, how the fuck does the kicking team get an illegal block??? You suck so bad, I really wanted Tommy West to punch you when you two were having words. It would have been so worth it. Suck. Never come back here again.
Sincerely,
Disgruntled Tiger Fan on Row 21
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Dear AM790 Radio Announcer,
When describing a block during a football radio broadcast, it's probably better if you don't say, "He really put the wood to that guy."
Signed,
Laughing Listener
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Dear U of M and Conference USA Bigwigs,
How come we don't have beer at our games? That's no fair. Whoever made that rule is FIRED.
Signed,
Fan Who Would Enjoy the Games a Lot More if She Had a Drink
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