Overdressed

Dear Starbucks,

You know I never joined in the bitching and moaning when people called you a corrupt corporate citizen. I never complained that you are taking over the world. I love you. Wholeheartedly. I've been proudly addicted to you for years. Since you first came to my town even. I dropped that little independent bookstore/coffee shop like a cold cuppa joe and sang your praises. "Hallelujah in excelsius! Starbucks is here! Aaaaahhhhh!"

But now you're just pissing me off.

I've never strayed far from my Grande Nonfat Latte. But sometimes, I get bored with it. I need a new taste. My old GNL is perfect in the morning. Evenings call for something different - something a little flavorful. Maybe even a little - a tiny bit - sweet. But your idea of sweet is FOUR PUMPS of a sugar-laden syrup. Which is waaaaay too much for someone like me who doesn't typically add sugar or other chemical sweeteners in her coffee. But occasionally I'll get a little shot of Vanilla, or Hazlenut, or Raspberry in my latte. And I always tell you that I want TWO PUMPS (which = one-half a shot). But I pay for a FULL SHOT. Because I'm generous and agreeable that way.

Lately, just to sex things up a bit, I decided to take ONE PUMP EACH of TWO DIFFERENT SYRUPS. Still, two pumps, or half a shot. And you are going to take your greedy corporate hand and reach into my wallet and literally steal my money!! From me - your loyal BFF!! What the hell is up with that??

Yes, your barristas insist on charging me for TWO SHOTS. Even though all I'm getting is (one more time, in case you've forgotten) one-half shot. "Blah blah inventory....blah blah the rules....blah blah accounting...."

So I am sending you this letter to tell you that YOU SUCK, STARBUCKS. And you better cut it out or I may stop drinking your coffee. Sometime. In the future.

Or Else!
kalisah

Posted by Kalisa on Monday, August 14, 2006 at 6:55 PM | Permalink