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Welcome to the first of many holiday posts teenage posts

I've been trying to make this post all evening. Unfortunately, My Kid who is TWELVE AND NOT REALLY A TEENAGER EVEN THOUGH HE SURE DOES FUCKING ACT LIKE ONE has decided that I need to get off his laptop every time I log on. NEVERMIND that he used MY laptop for months before his dad gave him this one.

And that my laptop no longer gets a wireless internet connection for some reason, so I can only get online on his.

And that I suffered through 14 hours of labor WITHOUT ANY DRUGS just to bring him into this world.

Yeah, nevermind all that. Just get the fuck off my computer, Mom.

Carmen, here's your Green Bench: I flipped off My Kid tonight when he wasn't looking. Yeah. Totally Mom of the Year, I'm sure.

But anyway...on to the whole reason for this post initially...

You know how much I love to get gifts! And tonight, I received my first Xmas gift!

And seriously, how generous is my friend Patricia?

This is a very luxuriant gift from Patricia. It is an Estee Lauder gift pack that is huge and worth about $250 but for some reason I can't find it on the Estee Lauder web site. But it has such luxuries as:

Lipsticks in Fig, Beige, Tiger Eye and Pink Parfait

Pure Pops Lip Gloss in Fizzy Pear and Berry Twist

Pure Color Nail Laquer in Shimmering Pink, which I can't seem to find a link to, but you can kind of get a sense of what color "shimmering pink" is, can't you?

Artist's Eye Pencil in Soft Smudge Black, which looks pretty fun, no?

Artist's Lip Pencil in Mocha Writer, which frankly looks like it would be more fun as an eyeliner since it's all kind of shimmery and stuff.

Powder, blush, eye shadow and shadow blending brushes, in their own little stand-up, lidded holder.

Lash XL in off-black which I've never used before and I'm kinda ticky about my mascara but I will totally try it out and see how it is, especially since it's off-black and not black, which I generally steer clear of.

And a fabulous gold eye shadow palette that's not on their site, but holds such colors as: Mocha Cup, Berry Ice, Mint Ice, Lemon Square, Espresso Cup, Blue Sphere, Silver Ball, and Ivory Box...so you can just imagine the fun colors there.

AND a matching gold face compact with Petal, Nectar, Transparent, and Pink Kiss.

AND it all comes is a beautiful camel-colored travel case that I'm totally going to use the next time I travel.

I tell you, I'm the luckiest girl in the world! And I only just got ONE GIFT!

See? See how easy I am to buy for? See how excited and happy I get?