A Sudden Road Trip, on which I make an important self-discovery
Wednesday morning I go into work and was told, "I need you to drive to Birmingham tonight."
On the schedule was a local TV news appearance Thursday morning and an event Thursday night. I stayed for both and drove home at 8 last night. It's about a 4 1/2 hour drive from here.
And I learned something very important about myself on this trip. It's something I've suspected for a while. Something that I believe will be an intrinsic part of me forever.
I have a horrible sense of direction.
There wasn't one place in the city I tried to go that I didn't end up driving around for 30 minutes lost. The hotel? Couldn't find it. The TV station? No luck. Back to the hotel? Lost again. The mall? Nope.
Everywhere I went, I missed a turn, turned the wrong way, or passed an exit.
Other circumstances conspired against me as well. Thursday morning, when I got up at 5:30 a.m. after not nearly enough sleep, Birmingham was having violent storms. Flash floods, tornado warnings, 60 mph straight line winds. So I drove through all that trying to find the station. And missed the turn. And I guess part of this disability is that I drive a long, long way before I realize "This can't be right" and turn around. And call for assistance.
Finally I found it - the station was on top of this mountain in Vulcan Park. I'm late. It's a virtual hurricane. I park and run up to the door. I have an umbrella, but in this storm it hardly matters. I bang on the door - obviously I'm at the wrong door. Finally a maintenance man comes and opens it. I try to push my way inside. "I'm here to be on the show! I'm late!" He calmly tells me that I'm at the wrong station and I need to keep following the driveway around to the Fox station.
There are two TV stations on the top of this mountain. Who knew?
Luckily, because of the weather reports, our segment has been pushed back, and I get there in time to do the show. What was supposed to be a four-minute segment ends up about a minute and a half because of, yes, the weather. I'm thinking it's a good thing VP of Thanks & Giving didn't drive all the way to Birmingham for a minute and a half interview.
On the way back to the hotel, I make the amazing discovery that all the streets in downtown Birmingham have the same name! After driving around for 30 minutes, of course.
Their downtown is divided in half. The first street north of the centerline is 1st Avenue North. The first street south of it is 1st Avenue South. And so on. Seriously. So, even though I KNOW that the hotel parking garage is at the corner of 21st and 11th, I drive around and around and can't find it anywhere! Because, I eventually realize, I am on 11th Avenue South, which is NOT THE SAME as 11th Avenue North. Oh no, two completely different streets. In different parts of town. What the fuck were these city planners thinking???
It was all quite an adventure.
