Last night I dreamed...
that I was going to sing on stage. It was a very detailed dream: I was going to sing "Guess I'll Hang My Tears Out To Dry" that Linda Ronstadt did with the Nelson Riddle Orchestra. And I was going to wear a long, emerald green, velvet dress and my hair up and I even knew how I was going to do my stage make-up. My junior high band director, Mr. McCracken, was musical director of the show. I was one of the last performers. The girl after me was really pretty and was singing an opera aria. I was a little jealous of her but liked her at the same time because I kind of thought of us as equals.
The day of the show, I went to get ready at someone else's house. Actually, it was more like a college dorm - lots of people, shared bathroom. I had to pack up alllll my stuff to get ready. And it was a lot. And I was loaded down with all these bags and my arms were full and I was dropping everything and hoping I got all the really important things.
I was late and rushed getting ready. The girl whose room I was getting ready in was in the show, too, but she was doing this silly little song & dance thing - she was really early in the show. She was upset with me because she had wanted me to do it with her. I tried to appease her by agreeing, since she was so early in the line up; I would have time to change into my velvet dress and fix my hair for my jazz performance. But still, as I was getting ready in her room, I was putting on the more formal outfit.
The guy who was driving us kept yelling that we had to go, we had to go. I was rushing and rushing and nothing was going as planned and I ended up in a white, gauzy dress instead of the one I'd planned on. Which upset me greatly b/c it just didn't go with the song. I was trying to do my make up but I left some important pieces behind. Then I realized I'd gotten my hair wet in the shower, and I didn't bring any of my tools for drying & straightening it. So I rushed out the door with stringy wet hair instead of the cool updo I'd planned on. I tried to gather up all my stuff and again the loaded down arms and dropping things and trying to decide on the fly if I could leave some of my stuff at this dorm and come back for it later and which stuff did I just HAVE to have with me for my performance?
There was lots of snow and ice on the ground. It made it really hard to drive. We arrived late. They wouldn't drop me at the stage door. I had to go in the front and walk the length of the room to get to backstage. I got back there. They were screaming for me. I said, "It's not my turn yet!" They said, "Yes! Yes, it is! Hurry, hurry!"
I stood behind the curtain awaiting my introduction. I asked Mr. McCracken, "Where's the microphone?" He handed it to me. "No, no! It's supposed to be on a stand!" "No, this is it. You have to hold it."
I walked out on stage. The curtain opened. The music started. But it was the wrong music. It was an Elvis song. I looked down at the mike and it was one of those big, heavy 1950s mikes. I could hardly hold it up it was so heavy. Then the cord started to pull. Like someone was pulling it out of my hands. I fought to hold on to it. Everything started moving in slow motion. Even the Elvis music. Like it was playing on the wrong speed. I fought to hold on to the mike. The curtain closed. I turned to Mr. McCracken waiting for him to correct everything so I could sing my song.
End of dream.
Last week Helen posted a site that interprets dream aspects, so I went there and looked up "struggle." They didn't have it. But they had "fight":
To dream that you participate in a fight, indicates inner turmoil. Some aspect of yourself is in conflict with another aspect of yourself. Perhaps an unresolved or unacknowledged part is fighting for its right to be heard. It may also parallel a fight or struggle that you are going through in your waking life.Which was about what I expected. I mean, dreaming that you're in a constant struggle isn't really too hard to figure out, is it? Especially the part where I was "fighting to hold on" [to the microphone]. I just wish I could put my finger on what I'm struggling against (or for) exactly. I mean, what in life ISN'T a struggle??
