The Fairy Tale that is my life
I feel like I'm getting to know you all so well, I'm ready to tell you a little more about me. So here's the story of me & Big Daddy.
I met Big Daddy when we were both in college. But we were not college-aged kids. I was 25 (I think) and he must have been about 22. I had lived on my own since I was 19 and paid for my own college, so I'd kind of been in & out of school for a few years.
When we met, we were both dating other people. I was dating G - a musician in town - and he was dating J. We met through a mutual friend M, who played keyboards in a house band in town. The three of us started hanging out quite a bit. Big Daddy & I would go to M's restaurant on the weekends. After his set, we'd all 3 go out for drinks & dessert at The North End.
Before long, the restaurant where M played shut down. The band broke up. M moved back to Minneapolis, his home town. That left me & Big Daddy on our own. I often joke with him that if he had moved away, I would have married M.
Big Daddy & I hung out for several months. During that time, I broke up with G. I was crazy about him, but it turns out he was screwing pretty much every attractive young woman in the city. Big Daddy confided to his best friend that he had feelings for me. She advised him that he should break up with J immediately. So he did.
Big Daddy told me how he felt about me. I was telling stinging from what G did to me. I told him, "Don't chase me. I'll run."
He said, "OK. I'll wait."
And he did. We kept hanging out. We went to movies. We went for walks in the park. It felt like something out of "When Harry Met Sally." My friends kept saying, "What are you waiting for??"
Finally, late in the fall, I forced myself to move ahead. We had been to a movie - "Malcolm X." He dropped me off at my house. He had somewhere to be and couldn't come in. It was pouring down rain. I kissed him in the doorway.
Fast forward to New Year's Eve, just a couple months later. We went to a dance and I had the time of my life. I knew that night that I loved him.
The next morning, I found out I was pregnant.
I believe that it happened in that order for a reason. I truly believed that Big Daddy was my destiny. But I didn't want to get married right away. We had so much to consider. So many decisions. We agreed that it would take two people to raise this child, but given all the decisions we had to make, deciding if we wanted to spend our lives together was not one we wanted to consider at this time.
We rented a house. A small house. 850 square feet. But it was in a nice neighborhood, and it had a backyard. His parents bought us a (tiny) washer & dryer that fit into the kitchen so I wouldn't have to haul all that baby laundry to the laundrymat.
By May, Big Daddy came to me and said, "I don't like telling people you're my wife when you're not."
I said, "So let's get married."
We planned a simple wedding in our backyard.
It was beautiful really. We rented a tent that covered our entire yard. Our fabulous neighbor Nathan, who had a beautiful yard, brought over all his hanging plants to hang around the edges of the tent. We rented chairs, tables, and a carpet for me to walk. My former roommate's mom decorated the tables and chairs with beautiful flowers & candles. It was Memorial Day weekend. Everyone that came into town for our wedding enjoyed the Sunset Symphony the night before our wedding.
We were married by a very understanding Methodist minister who said, "You just got the cart before the horse." All our friends & family were there. My brother gave me away, since my dad is gone. After the ceremony, we all enjoyed Corky's bar-b-que. My Mother made a beautiful wedding cake for us. It was three months to the day before My Kid would make his appearance.
Things were tough for us for a while. I had dropped out of school when I was pregnant and was too tired to attend class and keep working. Big Daddy was still in school and was working 12-hour shifts at an adolescent treatment center at night. We were on WIC and food stamps, I'm proud to say. I've worked and paid my taxes since I was 17 years old. I'm not embarrassed that we took advantage of governmental assistance when we needed it.
We perservered. Big Daddy graduated and got a real job. I went back to school when My Kid was 2, and eventually got my degree and a good job. We moved out of the tiny house and bought a house of our own. It's been up and onward since then.
Happily ever after and all that...
