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The Show

This must be the classiest opening of the Oscars ever. It gave me chills. I thought I was going to get choked up. Superb.

Ellen's hair looks great! Not so crazy about the burgundy velvet tuxedo (w/ white shoes even), but if anyone can pull it off, Ellen can.

She killed! Ellen Killed at The Oscars!! From now on, no one gets to host but her.

Nicole looks better than she has in years. Or at least her last 10 or 12 public appearances.

OK, I get that they had the kids present the "shorts" but the short films tend to be foreign and that's a little unfair to expect the kids to pronounce them. Still, that Abagail did a good job. She must be one smart cookie.

UPSET ALERT!!!!! Alan Arkin wins over Eddie Murphy for supporting actor. Didn't see that one coming AT. ALL.

Maybe it's a sign of things to come. Wouldn't it be GREAT one year, if all the people who were predicted to win, didn't? That would really throw things off the next year, huh?

I find that when Randy Newman's nominated song comes on is usually a good time to go use the bathroom or refresh the ice in your drink or jam a rusty fork into your ear. Whichever.

The older Kate Capshaw gets, the more she looks like she has Down's Syndrome.

Someone (Jon Stewart maybe?) said recently that a movie about America's propensity toward overconsumption would be a lot easier to swallow if it weren't being represented by Al Gore. Have you seen the man? He's a whale.

Why is Jack bald? They must've shown him six times by now and I only just finally recognized him.

Helen Mirren makes me proud to be a woman.

Best Adapted Screenplay: The Departed. [We're an hour and a half into the show before one I picked actually wins.] Nice speech by the writer. Course, he is a writer. He ought to have written something inspiring or meaningful or at least entertaining.

Emily Blunt is so fab. I love how her boobs don't look smashed or bulging or mismatched or deformed under her strapless dress. I hope she has a long and successful film career because I really want her to stick around.

Dude, who let Tom Cruise in?

I'm sure this woman is a saint, but doesn't Hollywood know that we don't care about their lifetime awards for people we don't know??? Anyway, the way Tom kept talking about her in the past tense, I thought she was dead. Ewww. Look at the difference between her face and her neck. That woman's had some work done.

E! had Gweneth on their Top 5 list. She looks pretty good, but I don't think she's all that tonight. She looks like she needs about 4 inches of dead ends cut off her hair.

Hold on one sec while I run over to IMDB and see how old Catherine Deneuve is....whoa. 64. She looks amazing. Really amazing. All of her. Not just her face.

Is it an upset that Pan's Labyrinth didn't win for foreign language film? I think it probably is.

That Gael kid is so cute but Natalie should tell him not to wear his hair in a butt cut.

Oh Lord. Did Al Gore just win an Oscar? To steal from Jon, "For those of you keeping score at home, that's Al Gore: One Oscar; Martin Scorsese: None."

I don't know a lot about men who score films (other than John Williams) but if that's Quincy Jones sitting up in the balcony next to him, my man has gotten FAT.

Oh great. Now they're going to let Ruth Buzzi sing. I think I have some laundry to put away.

Damn, Clint Eastwood looks really old. I'm seriously concerned for his health. How old is he? Is he 80? He looks 80.

OK, this is awkward. Clint speaks Italian? WTF is going on here?

I looked it up. He's not 80. He'll be 77 in May.

Don't you think Toby Maguire is gay? Just a little bit?

Kirsten Dunst & I have the same hairdo right now. Only she's at the Oscars and I've spent the day doing laundry and going grocery shopping.

These dancers or whatever they are - the ones who also do that car commercial? - are so very, very cool.

Big Daddy thinks Will Smith looks like Curious George.

I want Kate Winslet's classy British accent. Also her hair, her cheekbones and her lips, please.

What, Phillip Seymour couldn't comb his hair to go to the Oscars??

Reesey looks A. Maze. Ing. She shoulda got single a long time ago.

It's really hard for me to believe that Peter O'Toole has never won an Oscar. But such is life.

Forest Whitaker's wife is so beautiful. What a great speech. Bravo, Forest.

They're totally giving the Director's award to Marty. No way they broke out Coppola, Spielberg and Lucas to give it to Clint again.

You are witnessing an historic occasion, people.

I thought The Departed was a fine film; I think it won an Oscar for the Best Film of 2006 b/c of the overwhelming public support of Scorsese. I have a hard time accepting it as a "better" film than The Queen or Babel or even Blood Diamond. But I guess that's why they don't give me a vote.

Hooray for Hollywood.

Say goodnight, Gracie.


I'm liking Ellen so far. I like Jon last year too. I had nightmares of Chris Rock though.

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