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The horror that has become my life

I went with my friend Amy to an open house at her hair salon where they had wine and cheese and this bluelight demonstration that would illuminate all the many things that could be wrong with your complexion. My face showed WHITE. WHITE WHITE WHITE. Except under my eyes, which was BROWN. I looked like dead zombie woman. According to the color-coded card, the white places were DEAD SKIN and the brown was DRY. Huh. I used to be such an exfoliating queen. And I guess I better start putting some eye cream on these almost-40-year-old eyes before the crow's feet make their appearance.

I went to run the errands early today. Usually I wait until the end of the day, but I've decided to start going to yoga class at 4 on Sundays. While I was loading groceries into the car I caught my reflection in the window. Eek. It looks like I forgot to brush my hair before I left. Which means...NO! Please tell me I didn't...Oh holy shit! I have LEFT THE HOUSE IN THE SCRUNCHIE THAT I SLEPT IN.

What the hell is wrong with me? I am totally losing it! I'm completely appalled that I went to Target, Blockbuster AND the grocery store IN A SCRUNCHIE. Gads.

And, erm...how did I miss that the second season of The L Word is out on DVD? And how much do I LOVE that new theme song? I'm totally going to iTunes now to download me some Betty.