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Not my idea of "fresh fish"

Earlier this afternoon the bank called. My Euros are in. I had them order some for me so I wouldn't have to deal with exchanging them later. And they needed me to come pick them up. So I called Big Daddy and had him run out & get them for me.

Before I left the office, Big Daddy called me. He said, "I did something for you, now I need you to do something for me." He asked me to stop by the lake on my way home and pick up some live bait (minnnows) for My Kid. I guess he has plans to go fishing tomorrow with his friends. In my head, this doesn't seem like quite an even trade, but OK.

So I pull into the parking lot of "the lake" on my way home, and I park by the little bait store. When I get out of the car, the first thing I notice is that it smells like ass out here. Like stale, rotten swamp water. Gross. And, of course, the parking lot is not paved. It's chalky, dusty gravel. Which I am attempting to traverse in my high-heeled Michael Kors sandals. For the life of me, I can not think of a single place on earth that I would appear more out of place than I do here, at this moment.

I go into the little trailer and there's two country girls in there smoking cigarettes. I take a quick look around and see that they don't only have bait. They also have - how's THIS for a stereotype - Moon Pies and Pepsi.

I see worms and chicken livers but no minnows. So I ask the girl behind the counter. "Do you have minnows?" I say.

She nods. Well this is progress.

"Where? Where are they? Back here?" I motion to the opposite side of the tiny trailer where the worms and chicken livers are in a cooler. With the Pepsis.

"Out there." She waves her hand vaguely. I have no fucking idea what she's talking about. "How many do you want?"

I stare at her blankly. "A dozen?" she prompts.

"Yeah, sure. A dozen." She rings me up for $1.42.

"Did you bring something to put them in?" she asks me.


She told me they didn't close until dark, so we'll come back. With Tupperware or something.

UPDATE: We went back for the minnows after dinner. This time, the "boss" was there, and he looked at me like I was an idiot for thinking I was going to put 24 minnows in that little tupperware bowl. He said, "Why don't you just buy the bucket? It's like two dollars."

And BTW, the stupid fish were all DEAD by this morning.