« Home | The Other Friday Tradition » | Well...that explains it » | Super Cool Chicks » | Friday Movie Quote » | Everyone else is doing it » | me & my brother at the White House Easter Egg Roll... » | third grade school pic...what's with those bangs??... » | look...sunbathing topless at the age of 2.  » | Look! 100 Things » | A Goat Quote »

M. Night Shame on You

My Kid went to spend the night at my brother's house tonight, and me & Big Daddy went to see "The Village." SAVE YOUR MONEY. This movie was WEAK.

WARNING: I'll try not to give too much of the movie away, but there may be spoilers ahead. Do not continue reading if you don't want to know.

The only thing even remotely spooky about this movie was the music. The parts that were meant to be eerie had everyone in the theater laughing. "Do not be afraid. We have the magic rocks." WTF was that??? WEAK.

The only reason I even went to see this movie is b/c two of my favorite actors are in it. I'll see anything with William Hurt or Adrian Brody. Bryce Dallas Howard did in fact give a fine performance, but I thought she was completely unconvincing as a blind girl. Her eyes moved around way too much.

And come on, the people came from the city originally. What's with the ridiculous speech? "Do not jostle my shirt." "Please, sir, we must make haste." C'mon on. They were less than one generation into this community they'd created, yet they dressed like Amish people and spoke like the fucking Biblical Israelites. WEAK WEAK WEAK.

M. Night, sorry dude. I think you peaked early with "The Sixth Sense." You should just stop making movies now. Seriously. STOP MAKING MOVIES.

We went to a 10 p.m. show and it was completely sold out. We had to wait in this huge fucking line just to get into the theater. Then everyone was bitching & complaining as we left. I predict it will have a big opening weekend, then ticket sales will drop off dramatically as soon as word gets out.

If you don't believe me, go here and read Roger Ebert's review. I wish I had before I paid $7.50 to see the movie. He had this to say about the big secret:

Eventually the secret...is revealed. To call it an anticlimax would be an insult not only to climaxes but to prefixes. It's a crummy secret, about one step up the ladder of narrative originality from It Was All a Dream.

It's so witless, in fact, that when we do discover the secret, we want to rewind the film so we don't know the secret anymore.

And then keep on rewinding, and rewinding, until we're back at the beginning, and can get up from our seats and walk backward out of the theater and go down the up escalator and watch the money spring from the cash register into our pockets.