Resolution
I have a Mid Year's Resolution: I resolve to never again sit through a sales presentation. I can not think of a bigger waste of my time. B/c I run the Communications office, including the Graphic Design team, I somehow seem to attract fast-talking account managers from every print shop in the country.
Phone: Ring. Ring.
Me: Communications, this is Overdressed.
Smarmy Sales Guy: Hi, Overdressed! This is Smarmy Sales Guy!
Me: Hi. [Do I know you? B/c you're talking to me like I'm your long-lost best friend.] How can I help you? [Get on with it.]
SSG: I'm with Yet Another Printing Company, and I'm going to be in your area next Thursday! I was hoping I could stop by and show you a little about what Yet Another can do for you!
M: Uhhhh...[Damn. Damn damn damn. Do not say yes. Do not say yes.] Yeah, OK. [NO!!]
SSG: Great! How does 2 o'clock on Thursday work for you?
M: OK. [And stop talking in exclamation points, fucktard.]
Fastforward to 1:45 the following Thursday.
Phone: Ring. Ring.
Me: Communications, this is Overdressed.
Receptionist: There's a Mr. Guy in the lobby here to see you.
Me: OK, thanks. I'll be right down. [LIE]
30 minutes later, in the lobby:
Me: Hi, Smarmy. Look, I'm sorry but I'm really, really busy. Something's come up and I'm not going to be able to meet with you today. Do you have a capabilities piece you can just leave with me? Mmm-kay. Thanks."
I know, shitty. They're just regular working folks trying to make a buck. I get it. But if I ever came across a genuine, sincere salesperson, who didn't try to fast talk me and shower me with cheap plastic gifts covered in his company's logo, I would happily sit and listen to his pitch. Until then - I'M OUTTA HERE!
